Busy bee!

Week 4
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

As promised, a pair of socks. I also knit most of every day, and watched a heck of a lot of movies. So this is not one I'll repeat soon, but it was a good challenge and a break from the big blankie.

That said, the big blankie is coming along quite nicely, don't you think?

Recap of the movies tomorrow when I head back to ... work. For now I'm going to chat with Wes, read a magazine, and watch some West Wing and Grey's Anatomy.

Sweet dreams!

Tagged.

So tonight Barista Brat tagged me. The task: I am supposed to write 6 odd habits about myself (I think that have been heretofore previously unmentioned). So here goes nothing...

1. I am a woman of many talents, but I am a lousy housekeeper. I don't cook well, and I don't often clean. Dust is common in my household. One further clarification - when I say I don't clean, I mean papers stack up, non-food trashcans are usually full, and the place is in need of a good dusting and vacuuming. The place is, however, free from food or disgusting ickies.

2. I can't sleep if I'm too hot or too cold. I tend to cover myself in blankets and dangle my feet out the bottom of the bed. If I'm too cold I just shiver until I get more clothing and blankets. I also have this weird circulation problem where my fingers and toes go white and numb if I get cold. This doesn't help with the sleeping.

3. I was a naive youngster. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16 and I was 18 when I learned which slang words applied to which gender. For instance, I thought "beaver" referred to a part of male genitalia.

4. The worst thing I've ever done is make my dad cry. I was a stupid teenager and said some stupid things and it was just stupid. If I think about it today, I still feel my face get hot in shame.

5. I never thought I would get married. I truly, honestly thought I wouldn't find someone that I could see myself sharing my life with. The fact that I've found a wonderful man to grow old with still makes me giddy every time I think about it. And it's too far away still, but I'm dying to start planning our big day.

6. I do not get on shoes that move of their own volition. This includes ice skates and roller skates. And yet, I constantly have dreams about flying and skating. In my dreams, I can skate perfectly and I feel free. In real life, I can't stay on my feet to save my life and my ass usually functions as a Xamboni on ice.

The general idea is that I'm supposed to tag people, but I sort of feel that tagged meme's are like chain letters. So if you read this and want to participate - tell everyone I tagged you.

Guess what I've been up to?

One sock, two sock...
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

My challenge for this weekend: Two days, two socks. We'll see if I make it. So far I'm loving this one.

This is a Knit Picks Simple Stripes and I love the way it's knitting up.

I even seem to be doing better with my 4 DPN. The first pair had a few of those annoying joined loops, but these seem to be all good.

Stay tuned for its mate tomorrow.

So much knitting, so little time!

Knitted Toys
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

*panic*

There's entirely too much knitting and entirely too little time. Any suggestions on how one could find gainful employment through knitting, or that permitted knitting throughout the job would be most appreciated. So far I have in the queue:

* Best friend's wedding blanket.
* Co-worker's graduation socks.
* Another co-worker's wedding blanket.
* School friend getting married in December.
* Christmas presents.
* Long overdue housewarming blanket for friends who relocated 6 months ago already!

Anyone else pregnant, marrying or having anything huge, life-altering and meritorius of knitting goods going on? Don't hold back on me! My poor fingers can take it.

And all I want to do is knit but that pesky work and school seem to be getting in the way.

*settles down to look for 12 million more hours in the day*

P.S. The pic is the book I just bought. Aren't they ADORABLE? Eventually I will knit myself some Hoops and Yoyo!

C'est qui le plus grand des carnivores?*

This got my morning started with a laugh. Enjoy.

*Loosely translated this means: "Now who's the biggest/best carnivore of them all?"

Oh he knows the way to my heart.

V255295
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

He's bringing me more State Quarters and Victoria's Secret free panty coupons.

Word of the Day

de·mor·al·ize

Verb.

* To undermine the confidence or morale of; dishearten: an inconsistent policy that demoralized the staff.
* To put into disorder; confuse.
* To debase the morals of; corrupt.

demoralizing

Adjective.

* Destructive of morale and self-reliance.


Synonyms

degrading, deleterious, detrimental, hairy, harmful, hazardous, insalubrious, jeopardous, negative, perilous, risky, rotten, treacherous, undesirable, unhealthful, unsound, unwholesome, virulent, wicked


I don't want to talk about it. How's your day?

Some people's kids...

Teen Inmate Gets More Time for Pot Request

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - A judge changed a sentence from six months in prison to eight years after a teenager convicted in a drive-by shooting wrote a letter asking a friend to take over his marijuana dealings.

Aaron K. Lawless, 18, agreed to testify against two men who prosecutors say set up the shooting that killed 19-year-old Alisha Quillen last July. The two men were sentenced to eight years in prison while Lawless got six months. He had only 20 days left to serve.

Knox County Criminal Court Judge Mary Beth Leibowitz gave Lawless the shorter sentence even after learning he lied about his role in the shooting.

Leibowitz changed her mind about the sentence last week after authorities intercepted a letter Lawless wrote to a friend about "pushing some weed" while he is on probation.

The more things change...the more they stay the same.

One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.

-Margaret Mead, anthropologist
(1901-1978)

RIP Thumper

bunny
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

This is what happens when Easter is over, finals are approaching, the boss has left for the day, and chocolate strikes fear in the hearts of mere mortals...THE BUNNY GETS IT.

You put the lime in the coconut...

coconut
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

She put the lime in the coconut, she drank ‘em both up (3x)
Put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up, and said

Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said
Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache

Now let me get this straight
Put the lime in the coconut, you drank ‘em both up (3x)
Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up, and said

Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said
Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache

You put the lime in the coconut, you drink ‘em both together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the lime in the coconut, drink ‘em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning

Standing Room Only

Standing Room Only
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

To tag onto my previous post about Pain at the Pump, look at what Airbus announced today.

Next for air travelers: Standing room only?

ORLANDO, Florida The airlines have come up with a new answer to the old question: How many passengers can be squeezed into economy class?
A lot more, it turns out, especially if an idea still in the early stage should come to pass: standing-room-only "seats."

Airbus has been quietly pitching the standing-room-only option to Asian carriers, though none has agreed to it yet. Passengers in the standing section would be propped against a padded backboard, held in place with a harness, according to seating experts who have seen a proposal.

That the airlines are even considering such things is the result of several factors. High fuel costs are making it difficult for carriers to turn a profit. The new seat technology not only allows airlines to add more places for passengers, it also reduces a seat's weight by up to 15 pounds, or 7 kilograms, limiting fuel consumption. A typical seat in economy class now weighs 74 to 82 pounds.

"There is clearly pressure on carriers to make the total passenger count as efficient as possible," said Howard Guy, a director for Design Q, a seating- design consultancy in England. "After all, the fewer seats that are put on board, the more expensive the seat price becomes. It's basic math."

Seat experts say all the publicity airlines devote to their premium seats diverts attention from what is happening in the back of the plane. In the main cabin, they say, manufacturers are under intense pressure to install more seats.

"Pain at the Pump"

Gas Prices
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

This is what I hear every night on the news, but I have to tell you, this is getting ridiculous. A few days ago I spent $3.41 a gallon. At a tank of gas every week to week and a half, this war seems to be taking its toll on my finances.

This pic is from San Jose today.

Clarification and Unsolicited Advice.

the-long-distance-relationship-guide
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

It has come to my attention that something I wrote a few days back has apparently been misunderstood.

A few days ago I wrote an entry entitled Emotional Roller Coaster. In this entry I professed that I was 99% happy in my romantic life, but that the 1% unhappiness stemmed from the 2000+ miles that are between my fiance and me approximately 48 weeks of the year.

So let me clarify. I LOVE my fiance and I LOVE our relationship. I hate that we are far apart, but the 1% unhappy does not mean that I'm unhappy with him or how we handle our relationship at a distance. It just means I would rather we both live in the same metropolitan area and get to see each other every day (or at the least more often than we do).

Which brings me to my next point: unsolicited advice. I read plenty of blogs where people vent their frustrations and receive a ton of unsolcited advice. So far I have been pretty lucky on that front. Normally I distinguish when I want advice.

That said, I received this book yesterday. I can only assume that the (well-intentioned) gifter thought I was complaining that my relationship was in some way inadequate and needed help.

Which was not in any way what I was saying.

So I thumbed through this yesterday and read some of the suggestions:

• Learn How to Have Phone Sex: This is going to be TMI, but let me say after two years apart we have this one covered.
  
• Learn how to prepare for "The Visit"
  
• Develop Romantic Routines: This is our Saturday night "movie date" to a T.
  
• Take Turns Visiting Each Other: Done.
  
  And finally:
  
  
• Determine Whether Your Relationship Will Go The Distance: We're engaged, looking for places to live together, and starting to plan the wedding. I think I'm there.

Just because.

Dear Professor:

I realize that I am taking your class, and have been all semester, and in your great holy Ph.D. wisdom I am but a lowly groveling masters student. I realize that you have what qualifies as "subject matter expertise" and that you have carefully designed and redesigned every assignment to stump us peons in the most inimitable fashion.

I have two small points, however, over which I would like to quibble.

1. First, and perhaps most importantly, those of us of lesser brain power are having a bit of trouble understanding concepts. When we ask you a thoughtful question (or a really dumb one at that) a somewhat intelligble answer would be appreciated. The answer to any question we ask, even the most moronic one, should not be "Just because."

2. In all deference to your astounding brain power and aforementioned subject matter expertise, English is not your first language. Therefore when you ask for the Average Net Present Value and we give you the Average Net Present Value, please do not try to convince us that what you actually meant was something different.

Most humbly and respectfully yours,
The girl surfing the web in the back row.

Did I really just say that?

Wes: Damn it! Guess what?

Me: What?

Wes: That second exam in humanities that I did well on?

Me: Yes?

Wes: The one that was supposed to be worth 20% of my grade?

Me: Yes?

Wes: The professor is shaving it back to 10% of the grade because people did poorly on it.

Me: Argh. What a butt monkey!

What am I? TWELVE?

Owl Puke

owl_puke
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Hmmmm. I have no witty retort for this one. I open the comments section up for your captions.

The "You could knock me over with a feather" Edition

Boss: Did Coworker give you the loot?

Me: The loot?

Boss: Where is Coworker. I gave her something for you. She was supposed to give it to you. She made off with the loot.

Me: The loot?

[time passes]

Me: Coworker? Boss said something about loot?

Coworker: I stashed it in the fridge.

Me: Pardon?

Coworker: He brought us birthday cake. From his daughter's birthday party. Chocolate.

Me: MMMMMM tea time is going to be rockin' today.

So how's you like that folks? Monday starting off with birthday cake. Maybe the week is gonna be ok...

On the needles - Week Two

Week 2
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Well, I didn't get as much knitting done as I would have liked to this week. However, the pattern is starting to take shape beautifully and I'm in love with the color and feel of the wool.

I don't know exactly why I love knitting so much. It's relaxing, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and it's a way I can be creative. Lately, I've been tackling new patterns and objects and I've really been getting into it. I wish I had gotten to thank my grandmother for teaching me and giving me a love for it.

Last night I showed this to my mother, and she told me that my grandmother would be proud of me. I hope so.

Mr. Trump says "You're Fired!"

"You're Fired!"
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

In case you can't read it, the program congratulates the "Norris Center for the PROforming Arts." I think someone was asleep at the proofreading desk. Needless to say, I'm sure Mr. Trump wouldn't be pleased.

P.S. I'm thinking this would be good for Jay Leno's Headlines.

Emotional Roller Coaster

The past couple of weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster. And anyone who knows me knows that I HATE roller coasters. I just feel as though I've been alternating between happy, cranky and melancholy.

Happy.

* I have an amazing, supportive and loving fiance. He puts up with me through all my moods and listens to me vent any time I need to. All that and he's handsome and funny to boot.
* I am surrounded by friends who show me in small, unexpected ways that I'm important to them.
* May is going to be a good month, filled with new experiences and fun.

Cranky.

* I am frustrated with the status quo of my life. School progresses on, still a year away from being complete. Work is frustrating because there is so much I need to do, but on each project I am stalled in one way or another.
* I am usually cranky and irritable when something else is wrong. See melancholy.

Melancholy.

* My romantic life is 99% perfect, with the whopping 1% being the intolerable distance.
* All of my friends are getting married and having babies. While I can console myself that the grass is always greener in someone else's yard, the fact is I'm jealous. And sad. And somehow I thought by the time I was 28 (or will be in a few weeks) that I would be further along in my life. And as irrational as it is, I'm just sad that my life won't "start" for another year or two.

The Silver Lining.

* After tomorrow I will be done with this term, save my one final on May 8.
* Someone suggested I take my knitting with me for my Saturday school day tomorrow. He gets lots of brownie points for the suggestion.
* After this weekend, I will not have any more weekend school to interfere with my lazy weekend routine and my Saturday night "date" with Wes.
* Only 27 days until Wes arrives.

BloggersFuel.com

BlogFuel.com
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

So a few weeks ago I posted here about getting free coffee in the mail.

It arrived today!

Out of sheer coincidence I picked out a bag of Boca Java Blogs of Bravery Blend (say that 12 times fast), the front line fuel. We're an Army funded institute, so with a healthy Hooah! we brewed up a batch.

The result was very positive. The coffee tastes great. The bags are full 8 oz bags that arrive via mail. You can set yourself up on a standard ordering plan and you can get it pre-ground in resealable zipperlock bags. AND even better, you can participate in Blogger Philanthropy. If you go here, you can send coffee to the troops overseas and Boca Java will match your donation.

We give it 4.5 HOOAHs out of 5!

Sometimes I Kill Me...

Tonight I went out for some really great Mediterranean food with a coworker. She and I gossiped a bit, and also talked about finishing grad school (she's done in a few weeks) and the future. We were discussing that despite the best intentions when we started, "let me just get a B and get it over with" is sort of where we're both at. My GPA for my MBA isn't bad, but we also talked about how meaningless grades are when you're not applying for additional schooling. I believe I tabled the conversation when I said, "The first guy who asks me what my GPA was in grad school is someone I don't want to work for. The correct response to that is 'I got a 3-point-up-your-ass'."

(Now I might just be a little bitter because I spent 6 hours today struggling with a 4-problem homework assignment. Which makes me suddenly understand why Wes is ready to climb walls after doing his homework - this time frame is his norm for computer engineering/physics work.

Ahhh ... Survival of the Fittest Strikes Again

Retiree flushes fortune down the toilet

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German pensioner flushed bundles of old banknotes worth a small fortune down the toilet because he thought they were now worthless, police in the northern city of Kiel said Thursday.

"He flushed the cash down the loo because he didn't think it was worth anything," said police spokesman Uwe Voigt.

Police said he dumped some 60,000 deutschemarks -- which the euro replaced in 2002 -- into the bowl, unaware they could still be exchanged for about 30,000 euros ($37,000).

Sewage workers recovered about half the sodden currency from the 64-year-old's plumbing. The remaining notes created a bottleneck in local sewers, where most were fished out.

"There may have been more cash that got away," said Voigt.

Police said the man lived in "spartan" circumstances and had dried out the notes and taken them to a bank. It was unclear if he had laundered the money first.

Now by laundered do they mean "washed in Eau de Toilet"?

There once was an old man with some money
He thought it was worthless, the stupid bunny
So he flushed it away
And went out to play
And Darwin would get a laugh it's so funny.

Sentimental

Sentimental
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

I was reorganizing photos tonight and I found this one and it made me smile. This is us, just after New Years, newly engaged and dressed up for an evening out.

I hate the waiting game sweetie but I know it will be worth it. I miss you.

P.S. I checked The Knot tonight and we only have 841 days to go!

As the Pump Turns: And Then There Were None.

tombstone
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Well the sad day has arrived. This morning Joe Blow blew it. You could say he swims with the fishes now, but this is clearly not the case. I did not attend, but I hear he received a full naval burial. *Flush*

There was a Triops named Joe Blow
He swam, dug and oh how he would go.
He laid many eggs
But was on his last legs
And he leaves us today in great sorrow.

Now all that remains is to dry out the tank, and start anew with fresh water and nutrients. In about 3 weeks WineGuy starts again. Stay tuned for As the Pump Turns: Season II.

On camping and pirates.

Well it's only April 18th, and yet the month of May is shaping up quite nicely. A few of the highlights:

• Friday, May 5 (Cinco De Mayo Baby!): I turn 28 and I'm preparing to celebrate in style!
  
• Monday, May 8: I take my final for the Spring Semester and say goodbye to my boring albeit useful Monday night class. I start a glorious two week break!
  
• Thursday, May 18: My wonderful fiance arrives for TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!
  
• Friday, May 19: We're leaving on my innaugural camping trip. We've booked a site almost lakeside up in Big Bear. Yes, you heard me right - I've never camped before. The Devil Works Family idea of "doing the national parks" was to take a long hike and head back to the cabin with running water. There might not have been TV but there was always electricity. I can't say I didn't like this, but I'm curious to try camping with my fiance the marine.
  
• Memorial Day Weekend: Yesterday my friend Light (who always makes me feel Fluffy) told me she'd be in town for Memorial Day Weekend and asked if we would care to join her at the Pirates Dinner Adventure in Anaheim. Now I thought Wes was going to think we were crazy, but he was all set to go. Bring on the eyepatches and kerchiefs.... ARRRRRRR!
  

Some days life just looks good.

TomKitten Hatches.

So there really was a baby in there. Who knew?

LOS ANGELES - The Tomkitten has arrived. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, the high-profile pair dubbed TomKat by the media, had a baby girl Tuesday, said Cruise spokesman Arnold Robinson. The baby, named Suri, weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 20 inches long, he said.

And they chose a remarkably normal name. Not like Moses...

P.S. My coworker pointed this out: Does anyone else find it an odd coincidence that Brooke Shields had her baby the same day?

Actress BROOKE SHIELDS gave birth to a baby girl this morning. Brooke and husband CHRIS HENCHY welcomed GRIER HAMMOND HENCHY into the family fold. She weighs 7 pounds and is 20 inches long!

On Duke University and the Lacrosse Team Sex Scandal

I just saw this in today's top news:

Two Duke University lacrosse players face rape and kidnap charges

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) - Two Duke University students have posted $400,000 bond and are due to return to court May 15th.

Reade Seligmann and Collin Finnerty were arrested early this morning on charges of raping and kidnapping a woman hired to dance at a party.

I have to say that from the beginning when this story broke I have been really sickened by the whole thing. As most people probably are, I've been looking for someone to blame for this tragedy. I do call it a tragedy because to me it is a horrific tragedy about the evil things people can do to one another.

First I look to the coach. Surely there must have been something that he did to appear permissive of such conduct. And yet, these college students are of adult age. They know what is right and wrong, and they are each personally responsible for their actions that night.

What is scary to me is that this is not unique to Duke University. Sure Duke is a "white" school in a predominantly "black" community. And yes the community, and even the student body, is outraged, as it should be.

DURHAM, N.C. (NNPA) - They came to pray, hope and cry. More than 250 students of North Carolina Central University (NCCU) rallied in a candlelight vigil Apr. 3 to show their support and love for one of their own—the alleged victim of a brutal gang rape by several members of the predominately White Duke University lacrosse team at a wild off-campus party over four weeks ago.

Though many of the students at this small historically Black university had heard about the crime on the news when it first broke, they were not aware until recently that the alleged victim was also an NCCU student. They immediately came together to embrace her, sponsor drives to raise money for her support, and use the opportunity to speak out in a unified voice against domestic violence, sexual abuse and racism.

Renee Clark, NCCU Student Body president, read a statement from NCCU Chancellor James Ammons. “These allegations of what occurred at the Duke University lacrosse team’s party are disturbing, inhumane and insensitive,” the statement read.

Almost daily demonstrations by Duke University students outraged that administration officials not only kept quiet about the alleged assault for more than a week, but had not punished the lacrosse players for underage drinking, kept the story alive in the national and international press.

But this could happen anywhere. Even in the 21st century, people still conduct themselves like this.

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) -- President Richard Brodhead says coach Mike Pressler's resignation was "highly appropriate."

The coach's resignation comes amid a growing scandal involving allegations that three lacrosse players raped a stripper at an off-campus party.

On Wednesday, Duke canceled the rest of the lacrosse season.

One student has been suspended from school, for apparently sending an e-mail saying he wanted to invite more strippers to his dorm room, kill them and skin them.

This is the America my children will grow up in.

What About Brian

What About Brian
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

The past few nights I've watched a new summer series, What about Brian. I don't know whether this show is really really good, or whether I'm just sentimental, but the show alternately hits funny warm notes, and sad notes that hurt.

The show centers around Brian, a single thirty-something trying to figure out life. His best friend Adam is engaged to Marjorie, who Brian has figured out he is in love with, but has decided to squash his feelings in deference to Adam. Brian's sister Nic is with Angelo and the two have just lost a baby. Nic is afraid she'll never be able to have another baby, and Angelo is happy if it's just the two of them. Finally there's Dave and Deena - a couple who married young, had three children and who are trying to navigate what to do after the spark is gone. Watching these three couples explore love at different stages, love which is sometimes really complex and messy, just resonates with me.

Things that make me happy even in the middle of a crappy day.

* My fiance trying to cheer me up with all sorts of silly jokes. He also threatened to beat up anyone if it would make me feel better.

* My co-worker telling me she'll organize a little birthday bash for me. Also "I love that you do crafts and statistics. Two things that shouldn't go together."

* Only one more session of this god-forsaken class. (Ok maybe that doesn't make me happy but at least it's a step in the right direction.)

And then there was one.

The Monday Update
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Whew! So many things to write about and it's only Monday at noon!

First off, thanks to all who commented below. I had no idea I'd spark conversation with that post. I think there are a lots of reasons people turn on the TV and a lot of ways that they watch it. For me personally, I live alone. So when I turn on the TV it's mostly for the sound of it. I also tend to do other things while watching: cleaning, exercising, knitting. However, there are times when I just sit mindlessily in front of it. So for this week, my resolution is to DVR what I want to watch and only watch that. The other times, I'm going to turn the TV off and read a book. I'll let ya know how it goes.

Second, I'd like to congratulate my friend Rob and his wife Leeann who had a gorgeous baby girl over the weekend. She's their first and I'm sure they're a bit sleep deprived, but I hope they're enjoying her.

Third, As the Pump Turns. I am sad to report that there is only one Triops left in the tank. This weekend, after a vigorous bout of egg laying, Number 1 and Red succumbed to their own little Triops heaven.

Next, to prove that I do indeed spend too much time with media, I have this weekend's movie reviews:

* Matchstick Men - This movie wasn't really what I was expecting. Nicolas Cage plays an con man with a horrible case of OCD who finds out he has a daugther. Hilarity ensues, and the movie does take a few suprise turns. Highly enjoyable.

* Northern Exposure - Season 1 - My parents loved this show when it was on air, and I have recently come to love Rob Morrow through watching Numb3rs. It's pretty funny and I'm eagerly waiting for the second disc.

* The French Lieutenant's Woman - This is an older movie, starring Meryl Streep and Jeremy Irons. The movie is a film within a film and a bit complicated, tracing a modern couple embarking on an affair while portraying a Victorian couple in a movie. The biggest surprise for me here was how SEXY Jeremy Irons was a few years back.

* Donnie Brasco - This was a pretty decent mob flick with Johnny Depp and Al Pacino. The hardest part for me was that it is a true story - scary that these things still happen in the world.

* Chronicles of Narnia - This was last week's movie screening at work and I have to say I quite enjoyed it. I remember the books and this was a pretty good adaptation.

And finally, from the Odd News at Yahoo I leave you with a tidbit about the wave of the future.

Future sex: gizmos, robots

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - When America's top sex researchers gathered recently to discuss the next decade in their field, some envisioned a future in which artificial sex partners could cater to every fantasy.

"What is very likely to be present before 2016 would be a multi-sensual experience of virtual sex," said Julia Heiman, director of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University, Bloomington.

A field dubbed "teledildonics" already allows people at two remote computers to manipulate electronic devices such as a vibrator at the other end for sexual purposes.

I don't know about you, but I'll take the good old fashioned kind!

You want me to do WHAT?

Wes and I were talking today and he mentioned that he had heard a report on the radio of a study done about stress in the information age. According to the report, today people are inundated with information. With TV, radio, cell phones, emails and tons of other media devices, we are over-informed and this has led to a dramatic increase in stress in the lives of every day people.

Then late tonight I received my "A Word A Day" email. It is advertising "TV Turnoff Week," which is this week (April 24-30) sponsored by the TV Turnoff Network. They are advocating "Empowering people to take control of technology and not letting technology take control of them so they can live healthier lives."

I'm torn on this one. I know that technology sometimes stresses me out - there are always more emails and I hate it when my cell phone rings off the hook. When I have children, you can be sure that there will be plenty of time spent outdoors, reading books and doing creative activities. However, after a long day of work and school, I'm ready to let my brain give in to inertia and just watch a little boob tube.

However, for those so inclined, a few TV Facts and Figures (stolen from the site above):

* Time per day that TV is on in an average US home: 7 hours, 40 minutes
* Amount of television that the average American watches per day: over 4 hours
* Average time per week that the American child ages 2-17 spends watching television: 19 hours, 40 minutes
* Chance that an American parent requires children to do their homework before watching TV: 1 in 12
* Number of violent acts the average American child sees on TV by age 18: 200,000
* Percentage of Hollywood executives who believe there is a link between TV violence and real violence: 80

Food for thought.

What a Difference a Day Week Makes

One Week.
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

One week of work, two hanks down. A million to go.

(Yes those are Netflix DVD's in the background - movie update tomorrow.)

While playing with my love online scrabble,
We talk on the phone and I babble,
We alternate winning,
And my head is still spinning
It's date night! Here and there we dabble.

All I Ever Needed to Know...

I've just started reading a great business book - Then We Set His Hair on Fire by Phil Dusenberry. He recalls the original author (Robert Fulghum) and how some simple insight (in the form of a 374 word sermon) can really be expanded to apply to the entirety of our lives.

****

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

• Share everything.
  
• Play fair.
  
• Don't hit people.
  
• Put things back where you found them.
  
• Clean up your own mess.
  
• Don't take things that aren't yours.
  
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
  
• Wash your hands before you eat.
  
• Flush.
  
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  
• Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
  
• Take a nap every afternoon.
  
• When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
  
• Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  
• Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
  
• And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
  
• Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

For my Groom

Cake Topper
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Though our wedding is still far away

And we can't see each other each day

Can't wait til "I Do"

And the honeymoon too

I saw this and thought, wanna play?


I love you Baby.

As the Pump Turns: Stardate 04.13.06 16:55

triops_cancriformis
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

For the last week or so things have been pretty much status quo. The pump has been turning with 3 healthy triops. As the triops have grown bigger they have started laying eggs around the tank, eggs that should need to be dried out (by draining the tank) and then placed in a fresh aquarium to hatch. Apparently that plan is not always accurate - there are now 4 brand new babies swimming around.

I composed a Limerick in their honor:

Sweet Jesus there’s more of them hatched!
4 more Triops, who knew they were batched?
Poor WineGuy now what does he do?
Will the old ones fight with the new?
His itch for a tank, it’s been scratched.

Haiku Spam

I decided to vary my poetic format slightly (if what I do can be called poetry) to give you a Haiku composed entirely of Spam mail in my account.

Next up - trying to write a Spam Limerick while including the Penis Enlargement email!


Spicy Mint Ringtone Wizard
Coffee Yak for Free
Platinum Romance Advice

Well no DUH!

I realize that for most of you (especially those not judged clinically insane) the Limerick thing may be getting a bit old. Here at the office Limericks are in full swing though. We're debating publishing a book of limericks - I'm thinking it will have to be called: The Good, The Crude and The Disgusting.

The sad truth of it is, I have no great wisdom to share. Nor do I have funny stories that will keep you riveted. This week has been a whirlwind of activity and I'm still sure I must be behind on something. I'm actually looking forward to tonight so I can go home, eat my Passover leftovers, catch up on DVR and just knit to my heart's content.

I leave you, however, with this astounding piece of wisdom and evidentiary proof.

Every 10-year-old kid knows that...

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - It's a "factual reality" that beans make you break wind, says South Africa's advertising watchdog.

On the occasion of a Co-worker's Green Card Phase One

Yay WineGuy he passed by Phase One
Can stay in LA with the sun
He’s partway to green
Biggest smile I’ve seen
We’ll party when this card thing is done!

In honor of Passover.

It’s that Passover time of year
On your doorpost, lamb’s blood you do smear
So that God he can pass you right by
We eat matzah and drink till we’re high
“Yeah for 8 days it’s just cardboard” we cheer!

The Daily Limerick

Tis tea time at four o’clock
All are welcome, there’s no need to knock
Precisely at four they play
Johnny Cash and his music each day
The Triangle’s parties they rock!

**UPDATE: For the dirtier one visit the comments section. I warn you it's graphic.

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

Or rather maybe start them.

P.S. Can someone please forward this to management?

Daily Horoscope:

Let's face it -- you're irreplaceable. At one time, that would have made you nervous, but now you revel in your leadership status, and with good reason. With you at the helm, there's nothing this group can't do.

Only in LA

(I'm going to start "Only in LA" as a series of things that could only be seen/heard in L.A.)

I was in Starbucks this morning getting the yummy Chai I've been craving when the woman in front of me ordered a peppermint mocha, double mocha, double peppermint, extra whipped cream. For PRINCESS. Yes you got it - they asked her what name to write and she said PRINCESS.

****UPDATE - Or in Limerick form if you would rather:

To Starbucks this morning I went
I knew not of such an event
The lady waiting in front of me
“Double peppermint mocha for Princess” said she
But we all know it was bitch that she meant.

Hollywood Quote of the Day

"A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad."

- Samuel Goldwyn

(Dis)Respecting your elders.

Woman, 82, Gets Ticket for Slow Crossing

LOS ANGELES - An 82-year-old woman received a $114 ticket for taking too long to cross a street. Mayvis Coyle said she began shuffling with her cane across Foothill Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley when the light was green, but was unable to make it to the other side before it turned red.

She said the motorcycle officer who ticketed her on Feb. 15 told her she was obstructing traffic.

"I think it's completely outrageous," said Coyle, who described herself as a Cherokee medicine woman. "He treated me like a 6-year-old, like I don't know what I'm doing."

Son of a B%&^$!!

Son of a B%&^$
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

I'm channelling Gilbert Gottfried this morning (who can frequently be found uttering the above phrase on the Tonight Show).

I'm trying like crazy to get the offer letters and paperwork out to all the interns. In the midst of stuffing envelopes I managed to give myself a giant papercut on the inside joint of my index finger.

SON OF A B%&^$!!

I'm not even going to comment...

On the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow named her new baby Moses Martin. Except for the fact that naming a child Moses went out of style in the Passover era didn't it? Speaking of which, let the matzah begin and the baby part the waters cause we're leaving Egypt this week.

P.S. Can you sense my Monday sarcasm?

I just can't imagine why.

Best, worst places to live?

LONDON (Reuters) - Zurich is the city with the highest quality of life in 2006, while Baghdad, for the third year running, has the lowest, a survey published Monday shows.

You don't say.... Baghdad one of the worst places to live? What with the Americans bombing the shit out of it, the lack of consistent running water and electricity and all those terrorists running around. Who would have thunk?

To Ink or Not to Ink?

Miami Ink
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

In my case, the answer is definitely not to ink. Tattoos just aren't for me. So, can someone explain to me why I'm absolutely fascinated by TLC's Miami Ink? I've basically been watching a marathon all day and I love it. Go figure.

Lessons learned and movies watched.

Day 1
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

As you can see, I've been a busy little bee this weekend. First, some lessons learned from my knitting madness:

• I may have been knitting forever but I'm damn stubborn when it comes to swatching. Had I swatched, I might not have had to pull everything I did last night out to make it bigger today. -1 for me.
  
• When using hanks of yarn (as opposed to neatly packaged skeins) one is smart to ball yarn before starting to knit. Yes, in the midst of frogging last night, I also tangled one hank beyond all recognition. -1 for me.
  
• I am, however, proud of myself for using a row counter, since this pattern will require a bit of concentration. +1 for me.
  

Ok. Now for the movies watched.

• Cinderella Man - I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to see this one because I'm not into boxing, but it was truly a great film. Paul Giamatti was excellent and the film itself was suprisingly poignant. I'd definitely recommend it.
  
• Belle Epoque - This is a sweet Spanish film starring a young Penelope Cruz. It has subtitles, so I couldn't knit, but it was very cute.
  
• The Whole Nine Yards - This was last night's movie date, and it was really cute. A good laugh and a fun watch.
  
• The Aristocrats - Now maybe this was my fault. I'm pretty naive and didn't know what this one was before I rented it. All I can say is that I have never pulled a movie out after 10 minutes and sent it back. 'Nuff said.
  

Now just another Monday to look forward to. But at least there's Grey's Anatomy tonight!

Mission Impossible

Mission Impossible
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

This blog message will self destruct in 60 seconds.

Your mission should you choose to accept it:

Turn this stash of Cascade 220 in Como Blue (purchased on Ebay!)

Photo/Pattern Courtesy of Sarah Smith and Knitty.com
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Into a blanket of this pattern (found on Knitty) as a gift for the best friend who is eloping this summer.

P.S. On the advice of Kalendar Girl I have now added a link to my side bar which takes you directly to my Flickr album of my Knitting.

Finally Finished.

Blanket!
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

This has been my project since Christmas day - a huge blanket for a friend of mine. The picture doesn't really show the subtle chevron pattern I knitted into it, but it does show that this blanket is HUGE. Very tempting to keep for myself, but already packaged up to send out. On to the next project!

Go Dan Brown!

I don't know about you, but I read and LOVED The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, and I can't wait for the movie version of DVC starring Tom Hanks. So this makes me smile.

'Da Vinci Code' Judge Slams Lawsuit

LONDON - "The Da Vinci Code" author Dan Brown and his publishing house were cleared of copyright infringement in a British court Friday, with the judge finding the lawsuit based on a contrived and "selective number of facts and ideas."

A woman of many names.

I was lying in bed last night thinking about all the nicknames I've had in my lifetime and what a good blog entry they'd make. (If you're bored, skip to the muppet entry below.)

• When I was 3 I would only allow people to call me Laura - not Laurie.
  
• To my father I have always been Pussycat or Bunky.
  
• To my Nana I was Bubula, to my Grandma I was Cookie.
  
• In high school I was Fluffy because I was "so damn light and fluffy all of the time."
  
• Online I have been Fluffy, Kira, LABabe297 and the Little Devil.
  
• At my job at the Front Desk at the Hotel I was the VOSD - Victim of Stress Deluxe.
  
• At my theatre job I was Laur - the only one I ever hated.
  
• At my current job I'm Wolf, Wolfie, Chief and Animal the Stamp Queen.
  

MUPPETS!

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!" You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up. If only your routine didn't always bomb! You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

Darwin Awards Candidate?

Woman tricks herself out of reward

BERLIN (Reuters) - When a German woman found a wallet containing 1,000 euros (696 pounds) she decided it was better to get a reward from the owner than to keep the money -- even if that meant resorting to extortion, police said on Friday.

"It was a bit stupid. She could just have kept the wallet," said a spokeswoman for police in the southwestern city of Darmstadt. "But she wanted the finder's reward -- and might have got one anyway. But she opted to extort it instead."

Police said the 47-year-old found the owner's phone number in the wallet and told the pensioner she could only have it back for 100 euros "plus 20 euros travel costs".

The owner agreed to the terms, and tipped off police, who arrested the woman with the wallet at the handover point.

You know you're in LA when...

* You see a brand pimpin' new Rolls parked outside the back door of Chipotle.

* A guy in a non-descript blue van tries to sell you a home theater system as you walk back to the office.

And you know you're a geek when...

* Seeing both of these things makes you think "Wow I'm SO blogging this!"

More creative than I'll ever be.

If you enjoy a good Slurpee from time to time, you MUST check out Chris' Slurpee High Intensity Testing (S.H.I.T.). Pure creative comedic genius, or a prolonged lack of sleep? You tell me.

As the Pump Turns: An Untimely Passing

Saltzer's Tribute
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Yesterday poor little Runt passed away. We suspect it was due to growing pains as opposed to being eaten, but nevertheless, the Triops tank is now down to three. It was a sad, sad day and one member of the team here offered a small token to the tank in memory of those gone before us.

Blogga Java

BlogFuel.com
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

Ok so it doesn't quite rhyme, but BloggersFuel.com is giving away free coffee and mugs in its coffee review pack in exchange for a blog review of its wares! Click on the link in the sidebar to learn more (and earn me some money!) and get started on your own. Happy caffeinating.

Word(s) of the Day: Feng Shui

Describing the network of intangible influences, positive and negative, that some believe to operate in a place, knowledge of which is necessary in discovering the most propitious site for putting up a building, staging an event, etc.

[From Chinese feng (wind) and shui (water).]

Like ying and yang, feng shui is a new western import of an old philosophical or mythological idea from the other side of the world. In the east, feng shui may be used in siting graves, but in the west it seems to operate mostly at the home-improvement level.

Best Laugh I've Had in a While

from House on Fox.

*House falls onto the floor as his cane falls apart*

"Gee it's almost like someone filed halfway through your cane while you were sleeping."

Ross the Intern

I have to admit it. I'm a Jay Leno/Tonight Show fan. I know that sometimes he harps on the same jokes for a while, but I can't help it. He just cracks me up almost every night.

One of his recurring features are the reports done by Ross the Intern. Jay recently sent Ross to Torino for the Olympics coverage and that was some of the funniest TV I have seen in a long time. So I was super excited (and geeked out) last night when Rosie O'Donnell and Ross were talking about their blogs!

Without further ado, I give you Ross the Intern's blog.

Stymied for an appropriate title.

"Loyal" donkeys better than wives, says textbook

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - A textbook used at schools in the Indian state of Rajasthan compares housewives to donkeys, and suggests the animals make better companions as they complain less and are more loyal to their "masters," The Times of India reported Tuesday.

"A donkey is like a housewife ... In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master," the newspaper reported, quoting a Hindi-language primer meant for 14-year-olds.

CSI Marina Del Rey (aka As the Pump Turns)

Recently, my coworker WineGuy has been attempting to raise and breed Triops. (For more on Triops see here and here.)

This has produced endless excitement (at least on my part) and many trips downstairs to his office to see the progress the "babies" have made. The experiment has been going on about two weeks and has yielded 5 specimens which have been named Number 1, Red, Runt, Joe Blow, and one who's name I shall not mention but coincidentally is the same as my boss. (We will not mention the origins of the last one's name or that they have anything to do with his spastic behavior.)

Well, unfortunately as of this morning, only 4 remain. The crime scene this morning had a head on one side of the tank and a tail on the other. Apparently he who shall not be named had been cracked in half and became dinner for the others. I wonder if this is an omen for the office?

This wasn't going to end well.

Spider-hunting nudist ends with ring of fire

SYDNEY (Reuters) - A red-faced Australian nudist who tried to set fire to what he thought was a deadly funnel web spider's nest ended up with badly burned buttocks, emergency officials said Monday.

The 56-year-old man was at a nudist colony near Bowral, about 60 miles southwest of Sydney, Sunday when he spotted what he believed to be a funnel web spider hole.

Ambulance workers, including a helicopter crew, were called to the scene after the man poured petrol down the hole and then lit a match in an attempt to kill the offending arachnid.

"The exploding gasoline fumes left the man with burns to 18 percent of his body, on the upper leg and buttocks," the NRMA Careflight helicopter rescue service said in a statement.

It said the man's lack of clothing probably contributed to the extent of his burns.

Another Monday.

RepforVold
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

I saw this on a car on my way to work today and thought that it was appropriate for our current administration. I hesitate to posit that Voldemort might be an improvement, at least in brain power. Besides, he could just channel Osama and kill him with deadly lightening force and maybe this whole mess would be over. Of course he'd probably rather join forces with Osama and destroy the world, but well America is already pretty messed up so maybe it would be like Noah and the great flood and we could start over again.

Oh yeah, and speaking of floods it's raining. On a school night. AGAIN. Super fantabulous.

Happy Monday all.

The Weekend Movies

Rear Window
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

This was a relaxing weekend full of movies. On this weekend's list were:

Rear Window - This one was OnDemand on Comcast (read: free!) and I really liked it. It had been on my list for a while. Grace Kelly is gorgeous, James Stewart is funny and they all sort of get wound up in an alternately madcap adventure and Hitchcock mystery.

The Professional - Jean Reno was fabulous in this quirky action flick about a "cleaner" - a hitman for hire. Natalie Portman was young and cute, and Gary Oldman was freaky as always. I would recommend this for an entertaining evening.

Modigliani - I first got interested in this movie when I heard an interview with Andy Garcia on a local radio station. He was, suprisingly, a huge jackass. However, I wanted to watch it anyway. I have to say, it was fair. An interesting and sad story about a contemporary of Picasso.

Mad Hot Ballroom - A really cute movie about a ballroom dancing competition for the elementary and jr. high students in inner city Manhattan (NY) schools. Really a delightful movie.

De-Virginized by MySpace

Yeah so I gave in and joined MySpace. So far my thoughts can be summed up in one word: MEH. Seriously.

MySpace has a few neat perks and is fairly well integrated, but I'm not overly impressed. I think I like this little corner of the world better, and I'm not going to be switching any time soon. So far all I've found over there are a few friends from the past (high school and college) that I had lost touch with.

Deep thoughts on the time change

When we set the clocks ahead an hour at 2am, do the TV stations just skip the 2am programming?