Tuesday, February 28, 2006
What happens when you leave work at night.
Knitting Olympics - Gold in 2006
Over 5000 knitters united in the first ever Knitting Olympics this 2006. The challenge: Pick a project to complete in the 16 days of the Olympics. Cast on during the opening ceremonies on Feb 10 and be completely finished by the closing ceremonies on Feb 26.
This was a great challenge, and an incredible way to find some new friends in the blogosphere.
To see my great new felted bag check here.
Monday, February 27, 2006
A life in the day of me.
- 6:17am - Wake up. Roll over, look at alarm clock.
- 7:23am - Wake up. Roll over, look at alarm clock.
- 8:19am - Wake up to phone. Fabulous fiance with wake up call.
- 8:44am - Wake up, curse dozing. Throw on clothes.
- 8:59am - Leave house. Remember postal package slip - Check. Remember keys - Check. Forget Jacket - Disastrous. Keep reading.
- 9:07am - Decide against going naked in Singapore. Skip post office in favor of dry cleaners.
- 9:31am - Try to look nonchalant while wandering through market with 3 - 7lb bags of ice and 5 cases of soda.
- 9:46am - Run around building to find cart to transport soda to 6th floor. Nary a brawny soul in sight.
- 9:54am - Check email. Remember forgetting to register for summer classes.
- 9:57am - Realize registration system is down. IM with workmates who are also classmates to find out what to do. Bypass crappy B-school registration in favor of University Registration. No email from B-school office re: registration or lack there of.
- 10:33am - Still no response to email or phone calls from B-school office.
- 11:01am - Diet Coke and Oatmeal, Breakfast of Champions.
- 11:29am - Load Big Bad Red Bucket full of ice and sodas. Pay pizza boy ungodly amount to feed entire building.
- 12:02pm - Pizza vanishes in flurry of persons and napkins.
- 12:15pm - Get to email, phone messages, real work.
- 1:13pm - Still no word from Business School Office. Write nasty email to program admin and cc: Dean. Encourage classmates to do the same.
- 1:17pm - Realize that although the registration system is f'ed, the billing system is not as tuition has already posted to student account. Holy smackers Batman.
- 1:36pm - Finally some real work.
- 3:00pm - Exhausted already. Halfway mark in day.
- 3:45pm - Sink into wide-eyed stupor staring at Spider Solitaire while listening to tunes.
- 3:53pm - Loving fiance reports that it is 70 degrees in Kansas today. Look out of conference room window (being window "have not") to see literal cats and dogs falling out of sky. Wet wet wet.
- 4:34pm - Empty Big Bad Red Bucket. Freeze fingers off, unable to type.
- 5:00pm - Decide to leave work early because of rain and traffic to downtown.
- 5:16pm - Actually leave not very early to downtown.
- 5:47pm - Reach school faster than thought. Trek through Lake USC, arrived half soaked to class. (Remember forgotten jacket? Luckily, car umbrella helps.) (Give thought to proposing Flood Crossing as Winter Event to Olympic Committee. Decide Jesus and Moses have gold hands down.) (Enough with the dumb parentheses.)
- 6:31pm - Professor decides we will have 2 breaks tonight. Launches into speech regarding modeling something-or-other. Start looking at Knitting Olympics Participants Page to see other knitters' finished project. Start to feel thirsty.
- 7:42pm - Look at clock. Wonder why professor can't offer break promised for 7:30. Feel thirstier but ignore soda in purse. Soda Can + Klutz + Computer Lab = Bad Idea. (Save day keyboard got thirsty for iced tea story for later).
- 8:22pm - Finish viewing A's and B's on Knitting Olympics page.
- 8:55pm - Look at clock. Wonder why professor can't offer break promised for 8:30. Thirstier.
- 9:30pm - Professor begins discussing midterm. So parched. Might drink pouring rain outside.
- 9:50pm - Finally dismissed. Have completed looking at C's in Knitting Olympics. Slog back to car arriving wet.
- 10:12pm - Driving home slowly, with freeway speed. 45MPH.
- 10:45pm - Showered, cleaned, snuggled on couch.
- 12:03am(est) - Bedtime for Bonzo.
One man's excuse...
JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Pieter Abrahamse has an original excuse for a lost wedding ring: a crocodile ate it, along with the arm it was attached to.
"He took my wedding ring, I suppose he ate it up," Abrahamse told Reuters by telephone from his hospital Monday as he recounted his life-or-death struggle with a man-eating reptile.
The 47-year-old farm manager had the lower part of his left arm torn off in the attack last Thursday on a citrus plantation in South Africa's northern Limpopo province.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
I used hot hot water, and put this through the slow agitation cycle and then the fast one. It took about 20 or 30 minutes. The surprise was that the fast agitation actually stirred up some soap residue, so I had to leave the little sucker through the cold rinse cycle. Also, props to the suggestion of using a pillow case or mesh bag - this was a bit messy, But I'm very pleased with the result.
Smelly wet wool in my living room.
We have a song...
But the answer has actually been staring us in the face for quite a while. A song from our favorite movie:
Nina Simone's My Baby Just Cares for Me
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Another Sad Event.
Prolific Actor Darren McGavin Dies at 83
LOS ANGELES - Darren McGavin, the husky, tough-talking actor who starred in several TV series, played a grouchy dad in the holiday classic "A Christmas Story" and had other strong roles in such films as "The Man with the Golden Arm" and "The Natural," died Saturday. He was 83.
My that's a lot of Condoms.
Anyhow, we had a brief discussion today of the University's health coverage for us when we go overseas in 2 weeks. In addition to presenting us with a succint view of how to access medical services overseas, the staffer mentioned the following:
* Blood alcohol content is not different just because the beaches are pretty and you're not in the States.
* Do not purchase drugs overseas because you have no idea what's in them. And remember that Singapore still loves their executions, especially for travellers carrying forbidden possessions through the country.
* Sex isn't safer overseas than at home. The corrollary to this (AND THE KICKER) was: "USC is proud to say that it spends over $18,000 per year stocking the health center with condoms which are free to students." Now given that SC doesn't do anything without a discounted deal, and that there must be a HUGE volume discount, that's a heck of a lot of condoms. Not to mention that $18K is tuition for one year at USC. Oh, and if you're in the MBA program and you can't afford a pack of condoms, you're doing something wrong.
Friday, February 24, 2006
The stupidity... it never ceases to amaze.
(as opposed to just walking up one flight of stairs and handing it to them)
And then find it mind-boggling when it didn't arrive where it should be in time?
UPDATE: It was on her desk still. So I didn't lose it dammit!
I Shiite you not.
Why do Sailors Say Aye?
1. Why do sailors say aye?
2. Laura Black Stalking
3. Pregnant Olympics
4. Lemons Erma Bombeck
5. Earl Wilson, columnist
Thursday, February 23, 2006
This is where they lost me...
You can make a lovely hat out of previously-used aluminum foil.
Now doesn't that just sound stylish?
This is the plan, Stan.
Coworker: Which is what? That we won't study?
Me: Well the more unmotivated people you put in one place is inversely proportional to the amount of studying you get done. It's a scientific fact.
Coworker: Well, how motivated are you?
Me: Absolutely not at all. Which will cancel out everyone else's by the multiplicative properties of zero
I want 'em!
"Well, to explain it using the manufacturer's slogan, Cube World is simply, 'Stick People Sticking Together'. That's not a bad first pass. But we are going to go one better and give you the inside scoop on just how interesting Cube World really is. Forget about Tamagotchis, these things are function before cute. Cube World is a complex community of digital people who live in boxes. They each have their own behavior set. How's that for cute? The boxes they live in have magnetic contacts on four sides (conduits we might say) so that they might connect with other Cube World folks. When connected Cube World folks interact with one another in amazing ways. It's that simple. And complex. And therein lies the fundamental pleasure with Cube World.
They have free will! You can use the included motion sensors to shake 'em up a bit or even use the buttons to play games with each individual Cube World figure. But that's not the fun part. The real fun is getting Cube World folks to interact by simply connecting one cube to another. When connected, you might find that one guy wants to move into the next cube for a while. What will he do? It all depends! They are social creatures and will want to interact with one another and you'll get to watch as they explore different ways to connect. Whip might try to wrangle Scoop's dog to his Cube, and Dodger might toss his ball to Slim between Cubes. Nobody knows exactly what's gonna happen when. And whenever you think you really know what's going on, just move one cube to a different position, reconnect and you'll be amazed yet again. Endless hours of happiness are bound to ensue.
Each Cube World 'individual' has its own personality. You can have plenty of fun with just a single Cube World by playing games, but it sure is funner to have more than one."
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Over time, I've gone through a few manicurists. One couldn't keep track of my appointment, one was really expensive for a lousy job. The most recent one has seemed to do a good job, and for a modest price.
Until the last few weeks. Case in point: the last time I went to see her I had THREE broken nails. This is a trend that has been steadily increasing. One breaks, she puts a fake tip on it to match lengths, and then the tip pops off some time during the two weeks. Lather, rinse, repeat.
So I saw my manicurist this past Saturday. She pampered my babies and they looked great. Until tonight when I went to type on my keyboard and one of those damn tips popped off again.
*story starts to go downhill, watch for it*
I commenced cursing over the fact that I have to wait until Friday, March 3rd to do anything about this. Then I started thinking I'd go back before then and have her fix this one. Then I started searching my apartment for a quick fix. Now there is such a thing as nail glue (*mental note to buy some tomorrow*) but did I have any? No. I almost tried the SuperGlue route but I didn't have any. That's probably a good thing.
Finally I found it: Elmer's glue. Good on wood and fabric (and we know that means only paper and popsicle sticks.) Yes folks I proudly Elmer'ed my nail back on and then triumphantly coated it with 3 coats of clear polish.
Yes I'm ghetto.
And yes I'm buying a tube of nail glue first thing tomorrow morning.
And yes, you may laugh now.
That is all. Good night.
"Overpopulation not a problem," leading expert Charles Darwin states.
SINGAPORE (Reuters) - A teenage guitarist got so carried away while bouncing up and down on his bed mimicking a rock star that he flew out of a third floor window to his death, a Singapore newspaper reported Wednesday.
Mannequism and Political Apathy
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Let's think about this for a second.
TOKYO (AFP) - Nearly half of Japan's housewives keep money secret from their husbands and most of them doubt their spouses have any idea about it, a survey found, showing women's hold the purse strings here.
About 46 percent of housewives said they had secret funds, with the sum averaging 2.41 million yen (20,000 dollars), according to a survey of 500 wives in salary-earning households by Sompo Japan DIY Life Insurance.
Except that now the cat is out of the bag. BRILLIANT THINKING LADIES.
And again with the curling...
Of course, maybe this is because I'm overthinking it. It seems our President enjoys it - maybe that says something.
While flying back from Florida, Bush watched part of the U.S. men's curling competition broadcast from the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy.
"We were watching some curling - cheering the U.S. on," White House spokesman Trent Duffy said, recalling the match the U.S. team won by 7-3 over Switzerland. flight. "We had it on for 20 to 30 minutes. The president is a great sports fan."
Gag me with a .... shopping cart?
They reported that grocery shopping cart handles have more germs on them than the average public restroom doorknob. Eeeewwwwww.
Also check out China's fattest cat. Double Eeeewww.
The news is so...erm...well appetizing lately, ain't it?
Monday, February 20, 2006
New Dangers for 007
Fight scene leaves Craig injured
While filming his first James Bond fight scene, Daniel Craig had two of his teeth knocked out. Ouch!
Digital Spy reports that the actor’s injuries were so serious that his dentist Rob McNeil had to be flown out to Prague where Casino Royale is currently filming.
A source told the Sunday Mirror: “Daniel was filming with some minor actors when he got hit in the face. He was reeling from a heavy blow and staggered back holding his face.
“He put his hand to his mouth but the blood started to seep through his fingers – it was horrible. He did not make a fuss though, and fortunately the accident will not affect the film. He soon got back to work, and will just have to wear a gumshield during action scenes for the film.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Recycling tips from Google.
* Junk mail and newspaper can be reused as package stuffing.
* Unneeded printouts can be cut and stapled to make notepads.
* Recycling a 3-foot-high stack of newspapers can save one whole tree.
In my neighborhood, you just give your cans and bottles to the transient out back and he gets a hot meal. Either way, save our planet.
The Pope Wears Prada
Fashion: The Pope Wears Prada
Newsweek - He may never make the best-dressed lists, but Pope Benedict XVI is nothing short of a religious-fashion icon, riding in the Popemobile with red Prada loafers under his cassock and Gucci shades. But his penchant for designer wear and a move to ditch the papal tailors who have dressed popes for more than 200 years are causing new wrinkles in the Vatican.
Benedict has favored his tailor from his days as cardinal, Alessandro Cattaneo, and the 20-year-old religious-fashion house of Raniero Mancinelli, which has provided the pope with dazzling new vestments (some with shimmering, sequinlike details). At risk of losing the papal-dress contract are the Annibale Gammarelli tailors, who have made papal wear since 1792. But they blundered when Benedict had to make his debut blessing in a cassock that was too short, ending just above his ankles. Subsequent celebratory vestments made by Gammarelli are reported to have made the pope uncomfortable.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Figuring I had quite a bit of homework and real work to do in the next few weeks, I figured a small felted bag would be a perfect two week project. To my HORROR, I finished the bag in one day. What a challenge huh?
This weekend I get to felt the sucker and I can't wait. I've also gone back to the project I had going before the Olympic debacle - a huge blanket. It's just to that point now that it covers my lap when I work, keeping me toasty on this rainy night.
"Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported."
-- This is Spinal Tap
Friday, February 17, 2006
NEW HAVEN, Conn. - In a lecture hall on Yale's storied Old Campus, not long after an afternoon astronomy class has cleared out, a middle-aged sex toy saleswoman demonstrates her technique and hands out free products to an eager crowd.
"I want you to close your eyes," Patty Brisben playfully instructs a young man as she rubs scented lotion into his forearm and, to raucous laughter, reaches for an electric toy and a glove. "Fantasize about having an all-over body massage."
Welcome to Sex Week at Yale, a biennial celebration that has become one of the most provocative campus events in the country.
Organizers say Sex Week gets students talking about sex in a way that's more relevant than middle-school film strips, more honest than movies and television, and more fun than requisite college health lectures.
Yale's event, which ends Saturday, includes lectures from dating specialists, a sex therapist and a discussion of homosexuality with a former Roman Catholic priest. More provocative sessions include a panel of porn stars and stripping lessons from a Playboy Channel hostess.
Critics say Sex Week is just the latest act of debauchery at colleges in recent years: Students started sex columns. Vassar and others created erotica journals. Harvard launched H-Bomb, a magazine featuring suggestive pictures of undergraduates. Washington University in St. Louis offered a sex-themed week with orgasm seminars and condom telegrams.
While Yale may be giving off a flirty vibe this week, Brisben said she was surprised at how reserved the students were at her seminar. And for all their good grades, Brisben said Yale students seemed less clued in about sex than students elsewhere.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Olympians are crazy.
Tonight I watched the Olympic debut of Snowboard Crossing. For those of you who missed it you missed a CRAZY night. Basically they take snowboarders, line them up 4 in a row on an all terrain course of jumps, twists, turns and ramps and the snowboarders race down the hill. On the way down they fly though the air, collide and get thrown off course, and race to the bottom of the mountain for the gold. It's crazy and exciting and an American took the gold tonight.
Also tonight was the Women's Skeleton competition. This is similiar to the luge except it's an individual sled headfirst through the track. As if that weren't enough, there's one woman who did her runs tonight after announcing she is retiring because she is 2 months pregnant. Now I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be sliding headfirst on ice ever, much less pregnant. CRAZY.
Doorknobs and Bedknobs and Obsessions, Oh MY!
PORT WASHINGTON, Wis. - A man who claims he is obsessed with doorknobs faces three years in prison for a burglary spree in which dozens of them were taken from construction sites, along with tools and other materials.
A criminal complaint said Thor Jeffrey Steven Laufer told police he took a variety of items from the construction sites in the Milwaukee suburb of Mequon to disguise his obsession, "so that it would look like a typical burglary rather than someone just stealing doorknobs."
Laufer, 43, of Racine, was sentenced this week by Ozaukee County Circuit Judge Joseph McCormack to the three-year prison term, plus five years of extended supervision, and ordered to pay restitution. He had pleaded no contest to felony counts of burglary.
The thefts occurred in December 2004. Laufer also faces charges in Milwaukee County for similar incidents in suburban Franklin.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Valentines from my Valentine
The things we shouldn't say.
For instance, there is one person here at work in particular who I can't stand. I have been trying to figure out what it is about this person that grates on me so badly. And then I wonder what would happen if I just bluntly said "Cut your shit out. I'm on to you and I won't put up with your games anymore." But that isn't socially appropriate, and so I sit here, ready to steam up a latte with the sheer power of my annoyance.
UPDATE: This entry has been censored because this girl learned her lesson from those who have gotten "Dooced." She refrains from assigning aforementioned person a snappy nickname like Miss Take N. Hiring because that just wouldn't be mature.
What in the devil is Chai?
Today I decided it would be a good idea to find out what makes it so positively yummy. Here goes:
>Open Google Search. Type in "What is Chai?"
Definition: Often refers to masala chai, or spiced tea, a strong black tea infused with milk, sugar, and spices.
>Look at tea packet for ingredients.
Black Tea, Chicory Root, Cardamom, Pepper, Cinnamon, Ginger, Cloves, Natural Flavors.
>Back to Google. Type in "Spices in Chai Tea"
The spices used vary from region to region and among households in India. The most common are cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and pepper. Indian chai produces a warming, soothing effect, acts as a natural digestive aid and gives one a wonderful sense of well being. It's difficult to resist a second cup.
A Favorite Homemade Chai Recipe:
Boil 5 minutes, then steep 10 minutes:
1 Tbsp fennel or anise seed
6 green cardamom pods
1 cinnamon stick
1/4" ginger root, sliced thin
1/4 tsp black pepper corns
2 bay leaves
7 Cups water
Add, bring to a boil, and simmer 5 minutes:
2 Tbsp Darjeeling tea
6 Tbsp honey or brown sugar
1 Cup milk
**Have not tested above recipe.
Some things have to be seen to be believed.
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German youth who tied himself to a foldaway bed because he was bored was rescued by police after becoming trapped in its mechanism, officials said on Tuesday.
Neighbors alerted the police in the western German town of Schwelm after hearing the 16-year-old's cries for help late on Monday night.
When police entered the apartment, they found the bed had folded itself away and the red-faced youth was tied upside down to it with a tow-rope and wire and unable to free himself.
"He said he did it because he was bored," said Dietmar Trust, a spokesman for the local police. "He was visibly embarrassed but it was also a pretty amusing situation."
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
QOTD (Quote of the Day)
-Karl Kraus, writer (1874-1936)
Me: I know. I'm being harassed. Give me a sec.
Wes: Who was harassing you? Want me to poke them in the eye?
Me: The woman I hate.
Wes: Mmmmmm you DO want me to poke her in the eye then. *grin*
Me: Repeatedly if possible. *grin* Although somehow robbing her of the ability to speak would be preferable.
Wes: Nod. Poke her in the throat it is then. *kiss*
I love you baby.
And the shots, they just keep on 'a comin'
CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - The 78-year-old lawyer who was shot by Vice President Dick Cheney in a hunting accident has some birdshot in or touching his heart and he had "a silent heart attack" Tuesday morning, hospital officials said. The victim, Harry Whittington, was immediately moved back to the intensive care unit for further treatment, said Peter Banko, the administrator at Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial in Texas.
Now I seriously feel bad for the guy Cheney shot. This is like a freak horror show moving from bad to worse to even worse.
UPDATE: If you need a good old-school laugh, check out Cheney's Text Adventure.
Happy Valentine's Day...Can I go back to bed now?
For starters, I'd really like to go back to bed. I'm a bit bleary eyed because I graded 35 papers last night and was up until 2am doing it. BLECH.
Then of course it's good old V-day. Many of you have heard my diatribe before, but here it goes.
If you don't have anyone, V-day sucks because it's a reminder you're alone.
If you are in a new relationship, V-day sucks because there's gift anxiety - how big, how small, will he/she like it, what does the gift say about where I want the relationship to go?
If you are in a comfortable long term relationship, why should V-day be different than any other day, just because Hallmark wants to make a mint?
That said, I love my sweetie and I'm SO glad he's my Valentine and will be forever. Wanna take a nap now honey?
Monday, February 13, 2006
A PR Mishap...ok a PR Nightmare
WASHINGTON (AFP) - Some US newspapers took potshots at US Vice President Dick Cheney over a weekend hunting accident in which he shot a 78-year-old Texas lawyer while stalking quail.
The incident made the Monday front pages of The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today and The Wall Street Journal, most of which noted soberly that Cheney's office had not gone public with the information when it happened.
The New York City tabloid press, on the other hand, went after the vice president with both barrels.
The New York Post headlined its story "Big Shot" and mocked the "Blunder-buss" that sent Harry Whittington to the hospital, while the New York Daily News warned "Duck, It's Dick."
Time Magazine opened a profile of Whittington with the tongue-in-cheek observation that "Accidentally shooting a lawyer is never a good idea, especially one who's known for being something of a pistol himself."
* Oscar & Lucinda - A pretty bizarre flick starring Cate Blanchett and Ralph Fiennes. It was supposed to be a romantic drama, but I mostly saw the drama, or the melodrama. Cate Blanchett was excellent as usual, but the movie lacked something. I'd give it a 3 or so.
* Grey's Anatomy - A fabulous conclusion to last week's ep. George O'Malley rocks my world and proves that the nice guys are where it's at. Derek Sheppard disappoints me continually.
* Olympic Broadcast on USA - Curling is really a sport? And you people had the gall to mock me for my Knitting Olympics endeavors? HAVE YOU WATCHED CURLING?
That is all. Thank you and good night.
P.S. EDITED TO ADD: I just watered my 100% plastic plant. It's definitely WAY past bedtime.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Shoot first, ask questions later.
* He Shoots, He Scores
* Eats SHOOTS and Leaves
* Republican Showdown at the Cheney Corral
* Cheney Doctors Finally Get to Treat Someone Else
* How Not to Kick off Your Presidential Campaign
Cheney Accidentally Shoots a Fellow Hunter
WASHINGTON, Feb. 12 — Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a prominent Austin lawyer while the two men were on a quail hunting expedition in South Texas on Saturday, firing shotgun pellets at the man while trying to aim for a bird, his spokeswoman confirmed today.
Mr. Cheney, a practiced hunter, sprayed the lawyer, Harry Whittington, with shotgun pellets on an outing on the Armstrong ranch in South Texas. Mr. Whittington, 78, was flown by helicopter to Corpus Christi Memorial Hospital, where he was listed in stable condition today, according to Michele Trevino, a hospital spokeswoman.
White House officials did not release details of the incident. But local news accounts in Texas suggested that Mr. Cheney fired his shotgun without realizing that Mr. Whittington had approached him from behind, spraying his fellow hunter on his right side, on his cheek, neck and chest.
Mr. Whittington is a former member of the Texas Board of Corrections, which runs the state's prison and he was once chairman of the Texas Public Finance Authority Board. In 1999, Gov. George W. Bush appointed him to the Texas Funeral Service Commission.
Mr. Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," Mrs. Armstrong told the A.P. "The vice president didn't see him. The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and show. And by God, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."
One of the snags was running into my ex. I haven't seen or spoken to my ex in well over a year now, and I know he got married last May. Which is why I was suprised when he cornered me and asked a million questions about my own engagement. After all this time, I realized that I'm not angry at him anymore and that it really doesn't matter if I see him again or not. For good or for bad he's a part of my past, and a door that's closed now. And that closure is kind of a relief.
Girls Night Out
Walk the Line was really incredible. I have to say it's one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Reese Witherspoon was absolutely perfect and Joaquin Phoenix was amazing as Johnny Cash. I would really recommend seeing it in the theatre.
Friday, February 10, 2006
* Stats: 5'4", xxx lbs., answers to the name of Maura.
* Evil tendencies: Sits for hours in front of tv knitting, constantly building stash to take over Manhattan to the horror of fiance Les.
* Current project: Knitting Olympics, evil purse schmurse.
* CAUTION - constantly in possession of knitting needles, considered armed and dangerous.
Last night was different. I found CSI absolutely revolting last night. Though the plot line was fabulous, the needles in the eyes in the first few scenes sent me scrambling. Then Without a Trace took a strange serial killer twist.
On the whole, it was just an unsettling night. Anyone else feel the same way?
LONDON (Reuters) - Britons texting St. Valentine's Day love messages next Tuesday should be careful they don't send them to the wrong person.
A poll of 3,000 mobile phone users that found 40 percent will be texting rather than sending cards and that one in four have misdirected a provocative text or photo.
Recipients of the unwanted texts include bosses or colleagues (9 percent) parents (3 percent) and perhaps most embarrassing of all -- ex-partners (2 percent).
The study for student phone service dot mobile revealed eight in ten 18-25 year olds have sent a flirty text message within the last year, with a third indulging in "text sex."
With loved-up texters getting ready for the big day, dot mobile has come up with a few tips:
-- Keep flirty messages short.
-- Observe the two-day rule: get in touch after meeting someone within two days, no longer.
-- Do not drink and text.
-- Avoid over-use of emoticons and jargon.
-- "Xs" at the end of messages should not exceed three.
-- Be careful about picture messaging which others may get their hands on.
-- Adhere to the two text rule; Admit defeat if you have not received a reply after 12 hours and two texts.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Oprah vs. Ellen
I heartily say Ellen all the way!
Who's with me?
Darwin Awards Redux.
BERLIN (Reuters) - Detectives in Germany were dumbstruck after a man they had just booked for burglary walked out of the police station and drove off in one of their cars, authorities said Wednesday.
"It's not just unusual, it's embarrassing," said a spokesman for police in the central town of Eschwege.
As usual there were the fashion winners and the fashion losers. Thumbs up to Jenna Elfman and Gwen Stefani who rocked the fashion. No one knows what possessed Terri Hatcher to wear a completely sheer dress.
Most rockin' performance: Madonna. She looked amazing and the whole performance with the Gorillaz and the CG was awesome.
Most annoying acceptance speech: Kelly Clarkson. I'm not ashamed to admit that I really like her music. It's catchy pop and it just makes me want to move (note to self: good gym music). But she couldn't complete a sentence. I mean it was cool she was emotional, but even so. UPDATE: Thumbs up on the second speech.
What's up? award: Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman in the audience together? I thought they had broken up because he was a bad boy.
Most over-hyped under-delivering performance: Mariah Carey. What's up with the diva? All the faces she made, the weird barely booty covering dress, and the everywhere hair? I just don't get what the big deal is.
Most frustrating "gotta figure it out moment": Who the announcer was on CBS. It was none other than Kevin from Kevin and Bean. Go KROQ.
Suprise duet/trio: LOVED Jay-Z, Linkin Park and Paul McCartney's Yesterday. Who knew they would all harmonize??
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
I am resolved.
In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Wear more lacy black lingerie.
ARKADELPHIA, Ark. - Sometimes a chicken does have lips, just not her own. Marian Morris saved her brother's exotic chicken, Boo Boo, by administering "mouth-to-beak" resuscitation on the fowl after it was found floating face down in the family's pond.
Morris, a retired nurse, said she hadn't had any practice with CPR in years, but that she was interested to see if she "still had it."
"I breathed into its beak, and its dad-gum eyes popped open," Morris said. "I breathed into its beak again, and its eyes popped open again. "I said, 'I think this chicken's alive now. Keep it warm.'"
Morris said she was pleased to find that the bird she saved was an "exotic," and not just an ordinary chicken.
The chicken is called Boo Boo, because she is easily frightened. The family thought Boo Boo was startled and flopped into the pond.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
More than three dozen speakers at the funeral took turns remembering the widow of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., who worked to realize her husband's dream of equality for nearly 40 years after his assassination. She died Jan. 30 at age 78 after battling ovarian cancer and the effects of a stroke.
The president ordered flags flown at half-staff across the country.
"Coretta Scott King not only secured her husband's legacy, she built her own," Bush told the crowd. "Having loved a leader, she became a leader, and when she spoke, Americans listened closely."
Former President Clinton urged mourners to follow in her footsteps, honor her husband's sacrifice and help the couple's children fulfill their parents' legacy. Former President Bush said the "world is a kinder and gentler place because of Coretta Scott King." President Carter praised the Kings for their ability to "wage a fierce struggle for freedom and justice and to do it peacefully."
The lavish service stood in sharp contrast to the 1968 funeral for King's husband. President Lyndon B. Johnson did not attend those services, which were held in the much smaller and older Ebenezer Church in Atlanta, where King had preached.
Johnson did not attend because he was meeting with advisers and Cabinet officers at Camp David to discuss Vietnam War peace talks. There were also security concerns because of rioting that followed King's death, according to Betty Sue Flowers, director of Johnson's presidential library in Austin, Texas.
Instead, Johnson declared a national day of mourning and sent Vice President Hubert Humphrey to the ceremony in Atlanta.
Two hours after Tuesday's funeral, Coretta Scott King's coffin was placed in a tomb near her husband's at the King Center, which she built to promote his memory. Her tomb is inscribed with a passage from First Corinthians: "And now abide Faith, Hope, Love, These Three; but the greatest of these is Love."
Over the past several days, more than 160,000 mourners waited in long lines to pay their respects and file past King's open casket during viewings at churches and the Georgia Capitol, where King became the first woman and the first black person to lie in honor.
Poet Maya Angelou called Coretta Scott King "a study in serenity" and challenged the audience to carry on the King message of nonviolence.
"We owe something from this minute on, so that this gathering is not just another footnote on the pages of history," said Angelou, a former U.S. poet laureate who sang some of her comments in a traditional style of the Southern black church.
Need inspiration for Valentine's Day? How about a Llama?
LONDON (Reuters) - Stuck for romantic inspiration with Valentine's Day just a week away?
Then consider llamas.
A charity with the slogan "get calmer with a llama" is offering romantic country strolls for the lovelorn, leading a llama together around the picturesque Lake District in northwestern England.
"Chatting over a llama is certainly a novel way to meet people in a relaxed environment, and participants can enjoy a romantic picnic afterwards -- carried by the ever obliging llamas in their backpacks," said owner Mary Walker.
Walker, whose Lakeland Llamas charity helps the disabled, is keen to assure lonely hearts that contrary to their bad press, the South American relatives of the camel do not habitually spit at or bite people but are in fact friendly and docile.
Monday, February 06, 2006
A recipe for danger.
Don't look at me... I just find this stuff.
Bottled Water: Nectar of the Frauds?
Consumers spend a collective $100 billion every year on bottled water in the belief--often mistaken, as it happens--that this is better for us than what flows from our taps, according to environmental think tank the Earth Policy Institute (EPI).
For a fraction of that sum, everyone on the planet could have safe drinking water and proper sanitation, the Washington, D.C.-based organization said this week.
LONDON (Reuters) - A man who tripped, fell down a staircase and smashed into three rare Chinese vases in a museum two weeks ago said Monday "it was just a regrettable accident."
"I snagged my shoelace, missed the step and 'crash bang wallop,' there was a million pieces of high quality Qing ceramics lying around beneath me," Nick Flynn told BBC radio.
"There is no way my pocket will stretch to reimburse them for the damage that I have done."
A regular visitor to the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge, Flynn, 42, expressed surprise the three vases had not been secured in some way.
The vases, dating from the late 17th or early 18th century, were donated to the museum in 1948 and were one of its most recognizable exhibits.
Shocked but determined museum staff have vowed to glue the pieces back together again and take steps to ensure a similar accident doesn't happen again.
"I have had a letter from a Duncan Robinson," Flynn said. "He is the director of the Fitzwilliam Museum, and he has written to me asking me not to visit the museum again in the near future."
Wind Spreads Wildfire Near Southern California Suburbs
ANAHEIM, CA (AP) -- A wildfire pushed by winds quickly spread over 800 acres of the Cleveland National Forest a few miles east of Orange County suburbs on Monday.
No homes were immediately involved but State Route 241 was closed in the area of the blaze, east of Anaheim Hills. More than 200 federal, state and county firefighters battled the fire, said forest spokeswoman Joan Wynn.
The cause of the fire was under investigation, Wynn said.
Winds were blowing at 35 mph, and the smoke could be seen from downtown Los Angeles, 50 miles away.
Cleveland National Forest sprawls over 460,000 acres in segments of wilderness from Orange County south through Riverside and San Diego counties.
Paying for Email?
SAN FRANCISCO - Two of the world's biggest e-mail account providers, Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO - news) and America Online, plan to introduce a service that would charge senders a fee to route their e-mail directly to a user's mailbox without first passing through junk mail filters, representatives of both companies said Sunday.
The fees, which would range from 1/4 cent to 1 cent per e-mail, are the latest attempts by the companies to weed out unsolicited ads, commonly called spam, and identity-theft scams. In exchange for paying, e-mail senders will be guaranteed their messages won't be filtered and will bear a seal alerting recipients they're legitimate.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
For me this has been an interesting year. I started this blog with the announcement of the arrival Wes' (and my soon to be) nephew. Fittingly, after 580 entries or so, Evyn turned one earlier this week and is thriving. When I saw him last he was close to walking and was cute as a button.
Personally, I feel like I've finally kicked some of my demons out of my life. Since I was 21 (and actually well before) I have suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. During times of uncertainty or excessive change or emotion, I used to become a basket case. In the year since I started this blog I have switched jobs and faced some uncertainty in my career twice, I have survived a year of grad school, and I have been scared and elated by my relationship with my fiance and have become convinced that he is the man I want to grow old with. And I have faced all of this without becoming this basket case.
I hope to continue this journal for a long time to come. Writing is therapeutic and gives me a chance to share my wicked sense of humor and poke fun at some of the stranger things that occur in this life.
But beyond that, I have developed a great network of friends through this journal. Some of them I knew well before, some I have met through the blog community, and some I have kept in better touch with from a distance.
Thanks for joining me on the ride so far, and I'll see you all in the next entry.
P.S. It's the ultimate sign of Murphy's Law, however, that my blog seems to be un-viewable as I write this. Isn't it ironic? Dontcha think?
Friday, February 03, 2006
WASHINGTON - Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Pat Roberts said Friday the Bush administration's domestic spying is within the president's inherent power under the Constitution, and he rejected criticism that Congress was kept in the dark about it.
The program is "legal, necessary and reasonable," the Kansas Republican wrote in a 19-page letter, taking a particularly expansive view of the president's authority for the warrantless surveillance.
Of course this is coming from the representative of the state that just decided Creationism should be part of every science curriculum. I'm sure he has a Bible passage to support wiretapping.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
$&%@*$% Airport Nazis
So I went to the airport tonight to pick up a friend who arrived into town unexpectedly for a family emergency. I had the best laid plans. Her flight was to arrive shortly after 7:30 and I was to pick her up curbside outside baggage claim approximately 10 minutes after she landed. I dawdled at work until I could no longer stand it (and figured I'd be late) and headed to the airport.
Also known as THE. PLACE. I. HATE.
And there they were. The Airport Nazis.
These are the cops who stand curbside, holding their flashlights and ticket books threateningly, and if your wheels so much as think about slowing down, not to mention stopping, the cops commence harassing you to keep it moving. All I wanted to do was to pause for 10-20 seconds to make sure she wasn't standing curbside. But no...... on I had to go. And again. And again. FOUR TIMES ROUND THE STINKING AIRPORT before they let me pause long enough to pick up my friend.
By this time I was cursing up a storm and feeling overly homicidal and my fiance was serenading me with "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine." (CAN YOU BELIEVE HE KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO THE FIRST VERSE?!?!)
End of the day:
Airport Nazis: 1
The Little Devil: 0
Airport Nazis are just one of the many breeds of Nazis: The Parking Nazis who leave tickets on your car 30 seconds after your meter expires, The Restaurant Nazis who will under no circumstances seat you before the entire party arrives, The Soup Nazi from Seinfeld.
Eternally the optimist...
On one hand, I think this is great, and you all probably appreciate not having to skip over my ramblings.
On the other hand, I don't want the site to lose its personal warm fuzzy touch.
On the other hand (and yes that's three hands for those of you who are counting), my life is in a holding pattern right now. Working on finishing school, keeping sane at work while the rest of the world figures out what to do about the organization, and just waiting until my fiance can come live with me for good.
So enjoy the funny reads and I'll be writing more as there's news fit to print.
Stupid is as stupid does.
SAN FRANCISCO -- A Louisiana man claims in a lawsuit that Apple's iPod music player can cause hearing loss in people who use it.
Apple has sold more than 42 million of the devices since they went on sale in 2001, including 14 million in the fourth quarter last year. The devices can produce sounds of more than 115 decibels, a volume that can damage the hearing of a person exposed to the sound for more than 28 seconds per day, according to the complaint.
The iPod players are "inherently defective in design and are not sufficiently adorned with adequate warnings regarding the likelihood of hearing loss," according to the complaint, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in San Jose, Calif., on behalf of John Kiel Patterson of Louisiana.
The suit, which Patterson wants certified as a class-action, seeks compensation for unspecified damages and upgrades that will make iPods safer. Patterson's suit said he bought an iPod last year, but does not specify whether he suffered hearing loss from the device.
Patterson does not know if the device has damaged his hearing, said his attorney, Steve W. Berman, of Seattle. But that's beside the point of the lawsuit, which takes issue with the potential the iPod has to cause irreparable hearing loss, Berman said.
*This post generously donated by the AngryMan.
NOT MY WEDDING.
BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) -- It was love at first sight for Thailand's Scorpion Queen and Centipede King.
The couple with a soft spot for creepy crawlers -- and publicity stunts -- is planning a Valentine's Day's wedding at a haunted house, and to consummate their vows in a coffin.
Kanchana Ketkaew, 36, who set a world record in 2002 for spending 32 days in a glass cage with 3,400 scorpions, plans to wed 29-year-old Bunthawee Siengwong. He set a Thai record for enduring 28 days with 1,000 centipedes.
Kanchana's world record was beaten in 2004.
The couple met while performing their respective stunts at a snake farm on the resort island of Koh Samui, said Somporn Naksuetrong, the general manager of the Thailand's Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum. It is sponsoring the wedding.
The couple will tie the knot February 14 in a group ceremony dubbed "Til Death Do Us Part" at Ripley's Haunted Adventure House in the southern resort town of Pattaya, 50 miles south of Bangkok.
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. - Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, but it was hard to find a complainer in the crowd on Gobbler's Knob, where the morning temperature was well above freezing and Thursday's high was expected to hit 48 degrees.
There were a few boos at the groundhog's prediction of six more weeks of winter, but most of the hundreds of revelers instead turned the event into an impromptu Pittsburgh Steelers rally.
P.S. Wait a minute... I live in LA where it's room temperature all year round! Go groundhog go!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Someone else is getting fired.
NAIROBI (Reuters) - Kenya dismissed as "culturally insulting" Tuesday an offer of powdered dog food to feed starving children reportedly made by the founder of a canine biscuit company in New Zealand.
"Kenyan kids are not so desperate as to eat dog food," Kenya government spokesman Alfred Mutua told Reuters in response to a front-page story in the east African country's leading daily.
Kenya's Daily Nation newspaper said Christine Drummond of the Mighty Mix company in New Zealand had offered to send dog food powder to hungry children in western Kenya.
The information appeared to be coming from a New Zealand newspaper, which said Drummond had been moved to make a donation of 6,000 emergency packs of dog food mixture after the daughter of a friend visited the drought-hit country.
When mixed with water, the powder would provide sustainable meals, said an article posted on the web site of The Press newspaper, helping to ease a growing problem of food shortages.
P.S. Whoever thought this was a good idea should have his/her head checked.
P.P.S. This just in:
Aside from the obviously insulting nature of the offer, did you notice that the country is in a drought? WHERE ARE THEY GOING TO GET THE WATER FROM???