Deep thoughts.

Recently I've been posting most of my thoughts during the day on Plurk or Twitter but I thought I'd recap a few of the ones that crack me up here.

• Hubby brought home roses last night and took me to dinner. Love that man of mine!
  
• There is a cricket in the kitchen at work. If that weren't bad enough I've been told it escaped from the LIZARDS upstairs.
  
• Road Trip Note #1: Sonic is the new McDonald's of the 2000's - there's one on EVERY corner.
  
• Road Trip Note #2: Lake of the Ozarks has ZERO Starbucks - WIN!
  
• Things that are awesome: A cedar cabin with a metal roof in the middle of a huge thunderstorm and downpour.
  
• Knitting round and round on my sweater with this playing in my head.
  
• Nothing says summer like fresh homemade pico de gallo!
  
• It just doesn't get better than this:
  
  

Reality Bites

Why is it that at night, as I lie in bed and wait for sleep to come, I compose beautiful bloggy prose in my head and when the morning comes and I can finally type it all out, all that remains is "I can haz cheezeburger?"

Last night, for instance, I had this whole beautiful post about how my life is going right now. How I got a call about 6 weeks ago to interview for a great position at a local company. How I sailed through three rounds of interviews (one with the CEO) and how I was happy and excited and nervous and buoyant all at the same time. And then how in the last week or two I seem to have hit a wall. They have my number, but they just don't seem to be calling me. How I have no idea if I did something wrong, or if they're still working on it or if they're "just not that into me".

And then I started thinking about how I felt when I applied to colleges. How when I visited Cornell I fell in LOVE with the university and how I wanted to go there so badly I could taste it. And then the unthinkable happened - I wait-listed. And suddenly I had to pursue a plan B that I hadn't even started thinking about. I had to suck it up, get over it, and get on with my life.

Which is what I did today. I'm now a seasonal sales associate at a major department store. It isn't my dream job (although I'm sure it's a perfectly great job) and a little part of me is dying inside that I had to suppress both my bachelors and my graduate degree to even get the job. But I'm moving on, finding a paycheck and working through this period of limbo.

Now that wasn't poetic at all, but there you have it. Reality bites.

WWKIP Parte Deux

Today I diligently celebrated the second day of the WWKIP holiday. (Hey if Christmas can have 12 days, can't we knitters have TWO?) Today I celebrated World Wide Knit in Pajamas day by steadfastly refusing to get dressed all day long, while simultaneously knitting up a storm. I would say my only regret is not having a sweet little bunny suit, but frankly this is the Midwest in the middle of June and that would just be SILLY.

As applied to life in general (and knitting specifically)

If people aren't looking at you funny, you aren't doing it right.

Deep thoughts for the day.

From my favorite AWAD:

It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all.

-James Thurber, writer and cartoonist (1894-1961)


And from the illustrious Huffington Post:


And The Biggest Procrastinators Are...usually the most sophisticated, sensitive, creative and intelligent people.

Nailed you, did I? Well, I assume you're in the sophisticated, creative and intelligent category. (I'm guessing that there are only a very few thick dullards who cruise this site.) That probably means you have large numbers of things stuck in your mind, in your briefcase, and on your desk about which things are not moving forward quite as consistently as they could be.

Major reason: the precise next physical visible activity (next action) has probably not been decided on the to-do's. The bright people usually have some sort of reminders about their projects and things to do on lists, in piles, or lying around, so they won't forget to think about their commitments. Bully. But every time they catch the briefest glimpse of any of them, they instantly race forward in their mind, rapidly and intelligently creating images of all the possible pieces that have to fit together and all the things that might have to be involved in getting them to happen and all the possible negative consequences if any one of them slips (and all the things that they might be forgetting in all this!) Whew. Freaked themselves right out. I'd quit, too.

What a day!

1. Things I never, ever, EVER thought I would say:

Target sucks...where the hell is Wal-Mart?

2. Things I learned today:

Always read the pattern through before you begin knitting. ESPECIALLY when you think there must be something wrong with the pattern because it's probably YOU.

3. Things I laughed at today:

Crazy Aunt Purl's photo - I laughed for hours. God I miss California.

4. Things I'd put on a tee shirt today:

If my eyes are open, I'd rather be knitting.

5. Things I made today (for a coworker) that might make me die of cuteness:

Bittersweet

As I drove home tonight, I felt hollow and on the verge of tears. It was a great evening, and yet it made me sad.

***

I started today as I do many Saturdays: I slept in late. I got up around noon, showered and headed out for errands and a trip to my favorite Saturday haunt, the yarn store. After a stop at Goodwill (where I unloaded 7 bags of crap - and my place looks no better!), I headed over to the yarn store for some knitting therapy. I stayed there until five-thirty or so when I started the carpool to Burbank.

"It's my party and I'll drive if I want to."

I picked up Knitmeister S and one of my other workmates, and we headed out to my friends Mr. & Mrs. B, who were throwing me a going away party - game night. The food was amazing as usual and the party was that much more festive when Mr. and Mrs. B announced they're expecting! We played games, laughed harder than I've laughed in a while and had a great time. And all the while I couldn't help but think that I won't see all these people in the same place again (except perhaps at my wedding). It was just such a hollow feeling, having fun and yet knowing that I'm leaving.

I am so excited to begin my life with Wes. I am even looking forward to exploring a new city, find a job about which I'm passionate, and finding new knitting stores to haunt. And yet it is so bittersweet to have to say goodbye to all my friends and favorite haunts here. In my heart I know I will find friends and places to hang out, but it's almost as if I'm breaking up with my life here - I just don't want to think that there are more fish in the sea, I want these fish to stay.

And so tonight, while a blast, was bittersweet.





Of course, all this celebrating isn't doing a thing for my no soda and dessert diet either.

Uses for junk mail and leftover Christmas packaging #167

Packing materials for the great move of 2008.

It's a thin line between independence and stupidity.

I have, my friends, a dilemma. The new apartment Wes and I are moving into has a brand new fridge in it, and no spare room/garage for me to store the current fridge that I own. So I am selling my fridge. I have tried to sell it at work, and no one has been interested, so this evening I listed it for sale on Craigslist. Here's the dilemma.

I am a single female who lives by myself in a big city. I consider myself independent, and I try not to rely on others unnecessarily. I do, however, recognize that by living in a big city alone I should be aware of the dangers out there, and pay attention to my safety. So the dilemma: if I want to sell the fridge I have to let people come see it, but I'm wary of inviting strangers into my home (even if it won't be my home much longer) to see it.

As a solution, I plan on asking some of my guy friends if they're around and would be willing to happen to be at my apartment when people come to look. But I can't help enjoying that this is the last time I will face this particular dilemma.

Updates

Wow. I've got 10 million posts in my head and no time to post! Wes and I just returned from apartment/house-rental hunting today in Kansas City and I'm tired. We saw half a dozen places all over Kansas and Missouri. Sadly we only found one we were remotely interested in. On the other hand, we are now armed with knowledge of what areas we want to explore further and a whole other list to explore tomorrow. Hopefully by tomorrow night we'll at least have a pretty good idea where we'll be for the coming year.

On the knitting front I've actually finished a whole sweater since I've been on break, and I'm madly working on a wrap for one of my LA friends before I leave. I'll have pictures of both soon - as soon as I get these pics off my camera (darnit all if I didn't leave the cable at home!)

Otherwise we've been making New Year's Resolutions, seeing tons of movies, eating and relaxing. I'm enjoying the break very much, and it was with a special amount of glee that I woke up this morning still in Kansas, and not back at work! I'll save the movie reviews for another post, because we still have one more to watch. I'll get straight to the New Year's resolutions. In no particular order, I'm resolving in 2008 to:

• Treat my body better. This comes in many parts. First: cut back on desserts and soda. I can do with significantly less in the coming year, especially if I hope to fit into my fabulous dress. I'm also resolving to exercise more. Especially in the coming months when it will be freezing outside and I'll be a home - I'm going to try and match the miles Wes runs with walking on his treadmill for equal amounts. We'll see where that goes.
  
• To get ready for and enjoy my fabulous wedding and honeymoon. It's less than 8 months away now and I can't wait. Corollary: to not completely stress out about the wedding.
  
• To find a job that I really love. For the past few years I've been working a job, going to school and trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I still don't know, but I want to have fun in whatever I do. I'm going to start by looking for knitting stores, and then maybe some temp work. And I'm going to keep trying until I get it right!
  
• To learn to play guitar. I got a guitar for Christmas and I really want to get back into music. I don't care if I'm not very good at it, but I'd like to try and find out if it's something I really want to get more into.
  
• To become more domestic. This I say, a little bit to my chagrin. Ramen and frozen pizza have been ok up until now, but it's time to start cooking delicious dishes for me and my family. Hopefully, armed with a crock pot and Wes' subscription to Cooking Light, I can slap together a few edible things before the year's end. I think this also includes a bit of cleaning, laundry, and other assorted chores. (Though shoveling the snow is ALL HIS!)

That's what I've come up with so far. Hope you all have enjoyed a wonderful New Year's and have your own resolutions in hand. I'll be back soon with the previously promised photos and movie reviews!

P.S. Bonus points to the person who can connect the picture to the subject of the post. Hint: I just learned about it after seeing National Treasure 2.

Words of Advice

Never go to Target the week before Christmas.

Last night my creative decorating workmate A. and I went shopping. This year our workplace decided to adopt a family and since our colleagues were so generous in their donations we had almost $500 to spend on gifts for the family. So we headed out to shop last night, so we could wrap today and deliver gifts tomorrow. All I can say is %&^*$#@#*(&! Wow! Target was not only crowded, but it was not very stocked. And it was REALLY insanely hard shopping for a family when you don't really know them. We could pick up the items they requested on their lists, but we weren't sure what else to get as gifts since we don't know what kinds of movies, books, games, etc. they already have or would enjoy. We shopped till we dropped last night, returned all the gifts to the office around 10pm and headed home to collapse into bed. Today is wrapping and then preparing for delivering tomorrow. I love what we're doing, and that we're making the holidays great for the family! But avoid Target like the plague. You'll be glad you did.

The button jar.

Tonight is the annual holiday party, and for the occasion I broke out a new shirt that I purchased a few weeks ago on sale at Express. Some time this morning I had an odd sensation in the new shirt, and realized that I still hadn't clipped the envelope with the extra button from inside the shirt.

As I stared at this extra button, neatly packaged in its envelope, I was reminded of a conversation Wes and I were a part of on our cruise this summer. Every night we were seated with the same group of couples - 2 couples were newlyweds and one had been married for a while. Each night, the couples tried to out-do each other in griping about their spouses ("she's always shopping!" "he never listens!"). For the most part Wes and I tried to ignore this bickering. One night however, one of the women described a cardinal sin of her husband's: somewhere in the "moving-in together" process he had disposed of her button jar. She told him it was unforgivable and he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong.

See this is one of the fundamental differences between men's and women's apparel. Men's clothes come with extra buttons - they are sewn to the inside of the front button band. Women's clothing comes with extra buttons and thread - however, they are usually attached in a small envelope to the clothing. Every woman I know has some box, jar or bag somewhere with a collection of these envelopes. Now I will acknowledge that I probably still have envelopes of buttons and thread for garments long past that I no longer own, but even so, this collection is essential to maintaining clothes in proper working order.

So tell me ladies... do you have a button jar?

A cause to support.

I don't often ask for support on my blog, but this time it's super important so I'm going to make an exception.

Almost eight years ago now I lost my grandmother, the one who taught me how to knit, to Alzheimer's. Unfortunately, I actually lost her years before that as her mind grew foggy and her body gave up on her. Ultimately, she didn't recognize any of us - her grandchildren, her children, or her husband who sat by her side until the very end. The disease robbed her of many things: her passion, her art, her independence, and her dignity.

It was hard enough losing my grandmother, but sadly my mother now has to watch the same thing happen to one of her best friends. My mother's college roommate was diagnosed with Alzheimer's fairly recently, and already can no longer work and enjoy what was her normal life. Her children are just a year or two behind my sister and me, and I can't imagine facing the prospect of losing my own parents or having them not be able to recognize me.

My mother now works for the Alzheimer's Association which provides countless services to patients and their families and raises money to support research of the disease. Next Sunday, November 4, she is participating one of the Alzheimer's annual fundraisers, the Memory Walk. In the 6 years she has been with the organization she has never posted a web page or her personal stories asking for donations from family and friends. This year she has.

This isn't a personal problem. In fact, it's quickly becoming a universal problem. Ever 72 seconds someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's and these numbers aren't going to go away. I know you all have causes you support and diseases you fight against, but if you would like to support another cause, the Alzheimer's Foundation is a good one.

I knit.

In this world there are two kinds of knitters: process and product. Process knitters knit to enjoy the process of creating something. They knit to learn new techniques, to master their craft. The act of knitting is a journey to them, and it is where they find most of their enjoyment, be it learning new things, enjoying the company and wisdom of others, or simply finding new modes of self expression. I knit for all of these reasons, but I am not a process knitter.

The product knitter has the end goal in mind: the finished piece. The product knitter enjoys the act of knitting, but is always striving to complete things for the end product. Whether it be to wear the finished garment oneself, give it as a gift or share it with others, the product knitter wants to go through the journey for the end prize. I am a product knitter.

This shouldn't surprise me. I knit to be creative. I knit because I have passion, and a love of color and creating things. I knit because I have free time and because I like to see things take shape before my eyes. I knit because it is one of the few things in my life I can control. I can choose the pattern (or not to go with one at all), the colors, what I make, how fast I make it, and who gets the end product. I knit because these days, it seems it is one of the few things I can excel at.


So it should come as no surprise to me that this month, when things are most out of control and uncertain, that knitting has become essential to my emotional well being. Or that I was almost undone tonight by a sock.

A week or so ago, I decided to dedicate this month to knitting socks and finishing up projects on the needles. A sock is a quick project - a pair takes me a week. Most of the projects that are on the needles are well near the finish line, I just haven't given each enough time to get it there. Clearly, because I am in limbo in the rest of my life, I want all my products lined up neatly in a row.

So when I started a new sock last night, I was dismayed, and almost undone by the fact that I had to rip this yarn three times and start over. The first two times were attempts at patterns that were entirely too large for my foot - no one seems to write sock patterns for size 6. Sometimes I can adjust the pattern, sometimes I can't. I finally decided on a pattern late last night and set off with gusto through the cuff, ignoring my mistakes in the second row. Tonight I started the leg when I realized that something had gone wrong, nothing was aligning and I needed to pull it out yet again.

I'll be fine tomorrow. I'm even feeling better writing this, but I understand why I needed this to work and why I need to get to the finished sock. Now please excuse me while I go pray to the Patron Saint of Socks.

The King of all Non Sequiturs

This morning Chris at Rude Cactus asked people to stop by, delurk and leave links to blogs that they are reading. If you've seen Chris' blog, you'll know that his blogroll is impressive. I managed to leave a link to a blog I read that wasn't on there, but I noticed the comment above mine recommended the blog Scrine. Holy non sequitur Batman this site is fabulous! I could spend all day there. What did I have to do again today? Oh yeah, work.

ETA: I have to say that I'm rather proud of this.

Karmic Retribution

So tonight I was at Knitmeister S's enjoying TV night. While he was playing with the kitties on his spiral staircase, I MIGHT have told a story about another friend of ours who fell down those steps at his place. And I MIGHT have laughed a little about it. (In my defense, when she first told me, she was laughing too.)

After television, I went home and lived happily every after.

Well.... not quite.

Then I fell out of the elevator.

How, you might ask, did I come to fall OUT of an elevator? Well I'll show you. In the diagram below you will notice that the elevator car has not stopped flush with the floor, but rather lingers several scary inches above it.


So I MIGHT have missed that crucial step down and ended up on the tile floor in a nice SPLAT.


That Karma.... ya just never know when she's going to open up a can of whoopass on ya.

9/11 Remembered

Every year on this day I'm not sure what to write. I don't want to let it go by without acknowledging it, and simply posting funny articles doesn't feel right.

I will never forget that morning. The phone ringing so early. My co-worker's voice in my ear demanding that I turn on the TV. Sleepily watching the TV and thinking that what I was looking at couldn't possibly be real. The way we were all shell-shocked and glued to the television for a few days. The way the world became a closer-knit, nicer place for a few days: people said hi in the street, and we all comforted each other.

I wish I could say that where we are today (the state of the world, the Iraq situation) honors those who died on 9/11 and those who put themselves at risk to rescue people in need. All I do know is that today is a day where WE can honor those people and never forget.

Something Good to do with that Junk Mail

I got an idea from a blog I stumbled upon today (I forgot to bookmark it so if this was your idea and you wrote about it please let me know!). The blog suggested that when you get a piece of junk mail, you open it and return the postage paid envelope to the company. The immature part of me thought this was a great idea - hahaha stick it to the man! But one of the commenters had another point - put the piece of mail with your contact information IN that envelope and mark it "Please remove me from your mailing list." The commenter noted that this had reduced her junk mail down to a few pieces a week. So tonight I diligently did this - and shredded the rest of the innards. I don't know if it will work, but I figure it's worth a try and it's their dime, not mine!

Money.

Money. That thing that doesn't buy happiness, but sure can bring a lot of worries. That thing we need to survive, like it or not.

The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.
--Edith Wharton (1862 - 1937)

Since I graduated from college I've mostly been living paycheck to paycheck. I have started a 401K, and thanks to the generous match of my employer, that account is growing nicely. However, anything I had in savings or have been able to squirrel away has gone to pay for my graduate education.

Wes will tell you that since he met me I've been worried about money. Not very many months go by when I'm sure exactly how I'm going to pay for everything. Luckily, so far it has always worked out. I manage to pick up some freelance work or extra money drops from the sky.

However, since my rent went up this year and my raise didn't match it, I've been feeling some pressure. Tonight, I finally figured out why that is. Apparently I have a problem.

i'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
--e e cummings

I did a back of the envelope calculation tonight. When I look at my take home income, and subtract out rent, car payments, loan payments and utilities what is left is slightly north of $300. And that's before I cover food, gas and those other unexpected expenses.

I think a better job is in order (or a second one failing that).

Money often costs too much.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Deep thoughts on words.

Conversations with my love about our vacation:

So we'll sleep in till 8am, have some breakfast and de-boat. Hmmm, I guess that's disembark...except its deplane. Too confusing.

deplane

1. To disembark from an airplane.

disembark

1. To go ashore from a ship.
2. To leave an aircraft or other vehicle.
3. To remove or unload (cargo or passengers) from a ship, aircraft, or other vehicle.

deboat

1. YOU'RE AN IDIOT.


ETA:

Wes' contribution: "Deboat is down at Dedock just down at deend of deroad."