"I'm thinking Hancock was doing shit around there"

So apparently the past few days the US has been natural disaster central.

* Light was evacuated from her home in the midst of the Santa Cruz wildfires. Luckily her home is safe, but she still can't get back into it and has no water or power.

* Tornadoes hit Manhattan, Kansas a few days ago. The storms were strong enough to throw a car into the engineering building at K-State and (in a somewhat ironic twist) to completely erode the building that houses the nuclear reactor (not to fear, the nuclear reactor itself is underground and unharmed!).

So far we've been lucky enough to evade the flooding in many areas of the Midwest, and even the hail damage that has plagued some parts of KC.


Dear Mr. Weatherman:

We've had enough weather for now.

kThxbye,
the little devil

Millionaire

I have just been notified by email that I have won an African lottery; funds will be transferred after I send my bank account routing information and social security number: who wants to celebrate with me?

More pictures.

Subtitle: Why we got out of Kansas just in time.

I can't take credit for these photos - Wes shot these in the aftermath of the huge ice storm that overtook the midwest this week. He doesn't expect power back at his house for the rest of the week. It's eerie but beautiful.

The internet helps childrens learn.

Meet the Nutria.

Oh those news headlines!

"Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich is raising questions about President Bush's mental health."

With all due respect Mr. Kucinich, stupid is not a disease.

Squid with teeth.

I just don't know what to say. I told Knitmeister S, "now THAT is wrong." This my friends, might be a sign of the apocalypse. I'd hide under the bed if I were you.

Via BoingBoing.

Things that make me happy.

1. All the bosses being out today. Lots of reading and catching up to do in peace and quiet.

2. A Fine Frenzy's One Cell in the Sea. Beautiful songs that keep me chair dancing all day long.

3. Guess what I gave in and got? Showing off my monkies in my crocs as we speak.

Guess I'll run away and join the circus.

A few days ago I was driving home past the mall (located less than a mile from my house) and lo and behold, a rather large tent was being erected in the parking lot. It was surrounded by tons of RV's and trailers. Being the dolt that I sometimes I am, I was thinking... "Weird a camping trip in the middle of the mall parking lot?" AND... "Uh-oh someone has termites!"

Silly me... the CIRCUS is in town. By yesterday morning it was evident: Circus Vargas is less than a mile from my house. With elephants and clowns and tents oh my! This nice view brought to you by my camera phone while entering the freeway this morning. Sorry it isn't better but I was trying to, you know, drive and all.

Friday Funnies

1. Santa Claus he is not.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man who had been drinking heavily at Munich's Oktoberfest beer festival got stuck in a chimney for 12 hours while trying to climb into a friend's apartment, police said on Friday. More here.

2. Are we going back to pencil and paper?

SEATTLE - Microsoft Corp.'s Excel 2007 spreadsheet program is going to have to relearn part of its multiplication table.

In a blog post, Microsoft employee David Gainer said that when computer users tried to get Excel 2007 to multiply some pairs of numbers and the result was 65,535, Excel would incorrectly display 100,000 as the answer. More here.

3. Something's screwy

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German factory worker stole over a million screws from his employer and skewed the market with his cheap stolen goods, police said Friday.

Over two years, the 33-year-old assembly plant worker smuggled between 2,000 and 7,000 screws out of work each night, and auctioned them on an Internet site, police said. More here.

P.S. Let's hope he stole the screws from the inventory and not from whatever he was putting together!

Crossword Puzzle Romance

Crossword puzzle solved with a hitch

BOSTON - It was the crossword puzzle fan's version of getting his marriage proposal plastered on a stadium Jumbotron.

Aric Egmont and Jennie Bass were working on a puzzle titled "Popping the question" in the latest issue of The Boston Globe Sunday magazine. Bass spotted her sister's name and her best friend's name, but initially thought it was just a coincidence.

Then they got to 111 across: "Generic proposal" (Jen + Aric generic). The answer: "Will you marry me?"

"We get to the `Will you marry me?' clue, and I said, `Will you marry me, Jenny?' I got up, got the ring, and got down on one knee and she screamed, and hugged me. It took her a minute to say yes," Egmont told the Globe.

Egmont, 29, of Cambridge, contacted the magazine this summer to ask if the people who create the crossword puzzles would write a special puzzle for him.

Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon, a married puzzle-writing team who have been writing Globe magazine crossword puzzles for years, agreed. Their puzzle included several variations on proposals; for example, "Macrame artist's proposal" was "Let's tie the knot."

The tricky part was writing an entire puzzle that would be clear to the happy couple, but not obscure to all the other readers who do the puzzles.

Bass, 29, said there was no reason for her to suspect anything when they started doing the puzzle.

"Then he got up and came back with a box and it was pure elation," she said.

Not my family.

A few months ago I received an email in my Gmail inbox. I thought it was spam, but actually it appeared that someone had mis-emailed me, when intending to email another family member. I was one of many who received the email, and decided to ignore it, as it wasn't meant for me. BIG MISTAKE.

Within a few weeks I had an inbox full of replies to this mass email - all of them discussing Aunt Pearl's surgery, the twins, etc. Finally I got up the gumption to reply to all and let them know that they had reached me by mistake. I felt guilty for having let it go on so long, and really wanted them to know that they weren't reaching whoever they intended to reach.

Well now it has been several more weeks. I never did get a reply to my email, and yet my inbox still fills up with emails from this family. And now it's just getting to be sort of a pain because as much as I hope that Aunt Pearl fully recovers, I'm not really interested in being in on everything going on in this family.

Clearly someone somewhere is having a good laugh over this.

Arrrrrr!

Ahoy ye scallywags. Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day. So bring out ye eyepatches or ye swashbucklers will be walking the plank. If ye want more instruction ye need consult the official website. Avast me hearties... may there be much rum and taking of wenches tonight!

P.S. Who among ye needs a better excuse to dress like a pirate or drool over ye heartthrob Johnny Depp?

P.P.S. I be Knittin' like a Pirate.

P.P.P.S. I NEED one of these.

Stupid is as stupid does.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

--Albert Einstein

RIPPED from today's headlines:

1. Scary Stupid: "Dead" man wakes up under autopsy knife

2. From the man who got off and then wrote the book "IF I did it..." : OJ Simpson Charged in Alleged Robbery

3. Bizarre stupid: Couple divorce after online 'affair' - Get this, they had an online affair with EACH OTHER, and are now divorcing because their spouses cheated on them.

4. Injurious stupid: 'Mooning' teen struck in head by boat propeller

Nukes, Popcorn Lung and Pavarotti.

Today I found that I have an excess of articles to post. In an effort to not make you, my dear reader(s), die of boredom, I'm going to excerpt from them. I call this Nukes, popcorn lung and Pavarotti. Here goes:

1. In the height of absurdity:

'Popcorn lung patient' inhaled fumes daily

CENTENNIAL, Colo. - Wayne Watson loved microwave popcorn so much he would eat at least two bags each night, breathing in the steam from the just-opened package, until doctors told him it may have made him sick.

Watson, whose case of "popcorn lung" is the sole reported case of the disease in a non-factory worker, said he is convinced his heavy consumption of popcorn caused his health problems.

Who consumes 2 or more bags of microwave popcorn daily? Popcorn lung is the least of your concerns... how about Blocked Artery and Sky high Cholesterol and Blood Pressure? But this is my favorite part:

Watson said he still craves popcorn but has taken his doctors' advice and snacks now on fruits and vegetables. He said his breathing has improved and he's lost 35 pounds. He no longer uses an inhaler or takes steroids.

DUDE. Two words for you: AIR POPPER.

2. This one is absurd, bizarre and truly scary:

Air Force Mistakenly Transports Live Nukes Across America

"Surely the late Stanley Kubrick is somewhere smiling at this one. Forbes.com has a story about a B-52 Bomber that mistakenly flew 6-nuclear tipped cruise missles across several states last week. The 3-hour flight took the plane from Minot Air Force Base, N.D, to Barksdale Air Force Base, La., on Aug. 30. The incident was so serious that President Bush and Defense Secretary Robert Gates were quickly informed and Gates has asked for daily briefings on the Air Force probe, said Defense Department press secretary Geoff Morrell."

I'm not sure I want to think about this one.

3. And finally some sad news:

Italian tenor Pavarotti dies at 71

ROME - Luciano Pavarotti, opera's biggest superstar of the late 20th century, died Thursday. He was 71. He was the son of a singing baker and became the king of the high C's.

"The Maestro fought a long, tough battle against the pancreatic cancer," Robson said. "In fitting with the approach that characterised his life and work, he remained positive until finally succumbing to the last stages of his illness."

Pavarotti's charismatic persona and ebullient showmanship — but most of all his creamy and powerful voice — made him the most beloved and celebrated tenor since the great Caruso and one of the few opera singers to win crossover fame as a popular superstar.

"Luciano's voice was so extraordinarily beautiful and his delivery so natural and direct that his singing spoke right to the hearts of listeners whether they knew anything about opera or not," Metropolitan Opera music director James Levine said in a statement.

Fellow singer Jose Carreras called Pavarotti "one of the greatest tenors ever, one of the most important singers in the history of opera."

My grandmother LOVED opera and when I heard this news my first thought was of her. The world has truly lost a great artist.

FINALLY...an excuse to sleep late!

Early rising no good for the heart: study

TOKYO (AFP) - Generations have praised the wisdom of getting up early in the morning, but a Japanese study says early-risers are actually at a higher risk of developing heart problems.

The study, conducted by researchers from several universities and hospitals in the western Japanese city of Kyoto, revealed a link between wake-up times and a person's cardiovascular condition.

"Rising early to go to work or exercise might not be beneficial to health, but rather a risk for vascular diseases," said an abstract of the study.

The study, covering 3,017 healthy adults aged between 23 through 90, found that early risers had a greater risk of heart conditions including hypertension and of having strokes.

However, the study also noted that early risers were usually older.

The study is being presented this week at the World Congress of the World Federation of Sleep Research and Sleep Medicine Societies, being held in Cairns, Australia.

A separate study released in June by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that chronic sleep deprivation adds stress to the heart, putting a person at greater risk of cardiovascular disease and death.

What they DON'T Show you on the Discovery Channel

I was intrigued with this story late last night, when the captain was a guest on Jay Leno.

Child born on shrimp boat in open water

FREEPORT - The shrimp boat Raindear was miles from shore, out of radio range and at her top speed of 9 mph. The captain knew they would never make it to Freeport in time.

The baby wasn't due until mid-September, and the crew was sure they would finish the first leg of the season's shrimp fishing before she gave birth. But Cindy Preisel, the ship's cook, was in labor, and at 2:30 a.m. Wednesday, the ship's galley was the delivery room.

Equipped with a first aid handbook and a new roll of paper towels - the most sterile swaddling he could find - the ship's captain, Ed Keisel, was prepared to deliver the baby.

"We're crowning, we're crowning," Keisel recalled saying before he felt something out of place - the baby was coming out feet first.

"I'm no doctor, but even I knew that's not supposed to happen," Keisel said.

Brian Mawhorr, the father and part of the Raindear's crew, could only trust his captain.

With no way to perform a Cesarean section, Keisel said he had to improvise.

"I reached with my fingers and as gently as I could and popped out his left shoulder and then his right," he said. "But then the little guy was stuck by his head, being strangled. So I did the only thing I could - I waited for a contraction and then slid my fingers in around the top of his head and scooped him out."

Preisel and Mawhorr could only look on in horror as Keisel realized the newborn in his hands wasn't breathing.

"I started giving mouth-to-mouth, 3 short puffs, and then thumping and rubbing its back," he said.

The baby began to take short breaths, and after 20 to 25 minutes of CPR, Keisel said he got a mouthful of amniotic fluid. The newborn gulped in air, his light blue lips got their rosy color, and the galley was filled with the sound of crying, he said.

Preisel said she held her baby and named him Brian Edward Mawhorr, after his father and the man who delivered him, she said.

Keisel weighed the newborn with the scale they use for weighing their catch, after a vigorous cleaning, and told Preisel, "You've got a healthy 7 1⁄2-pounder."

Keisel plotted Brian's birthplace - 29.6 miles offshore - into his ship's GPS computer after docking the ship at Western Seafood Co. in Freeport. Friends waited at the dock with bottles and baby clothes.

Keisel thought he had seen everything after running shrimp boats since he was a teen. But when the Raindear set out from Fort Myers, Fla., for Freeport on July 15, he said he never would have guessed he would get an extra hand along the way.

"We set out with a crew of three, and we came back with a crew of four," he said. "We're not getting too much new blood in the shrimp industry, so I guess we have to manufacture our own."

Where in the world is Steve Fossett?

I hope wherever he is, he's safe!

Adventurer Fossett's plane missing

RENO, Nev. - Millionaire adventurer Steve Fossett, who has cheated death time and again in his successful pursuit of aviation records, was missing Tuesday after taking off in a single-engine plane the day before to scout locations for a land-speed record, officials said.

Teams searched a broad swath of rugged terrain in western Nevada near the ranch where he took off, but searchers had little to go on because he apparently didn't file a flight plan, a Federal Aviation Administration spokesman said.

Fossett, the first person to circle the world solo in a balloon, was seeking places for an upcoming attempt to break the land speed record in a car, said Paul Charles, a spokesman for Sir Richard Branson, the U.K. billionaire who has financed many of Fossett's adventures.

In 2002, Fossett became the first person to fly around the world alone in a balloon. In two weeks, his balloon flew 19,428.6 miles around the Southern Hemisphere. The record came after five previous attempts — some of them spectacular and frightening failures.

Three years later, in March 2005, he became the first person to fly a plane solo around the world without refueling.

He and a co-pilot also claim to have set a world glider altitude record of 50,671 feet during a flight in August 2006 over the Andes Mountains.

Fossett, a Stanford University graduate with a master's degree from Washington University in St. Louis, went to Chicago to work in the securities business and ultimately founded his own firm, Marathon Securities.

Fossett has climbed some of the world's tallest peaks, including the Matterhorn in Switzerland and Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. He also swam the English Channel in 1985, placed 47th in the Iditarod dog sled race in 1992 and participated in the 24 Hours of Le Mans car race in 1996 and broke the round-the-world sailing record by six days in 2004.

In 1995, Fossett became the first person to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon, landing in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada.

Fossett was inducted into the National Aviation Hall of Fame in July. He told a crowd gathered at the Dayton Convention Center in Ohio that he would continue flying.

"I'm hoping you didn't give me this award because you think my career is complete, because I'm not done," Fossett said.

Fossett said he planned to go to Argentina in November in an effort to break a glider record.

Fetish

Well here's one for the memory books. Tonight at knitting a fellow knitter mentioned an interesting thread on Ravelry and Flickr right now. Apparently some folks who have knitted socks, and taken pictures of themselves in their socks, are now finding themselves the object of attention for individuals with foot fetishes. It seems that there is some contingent of Flickr viewers that likes to peruse knitting photos for pictures showing feet and legs. I don't think this bothers me, but then again, I just don't want to know if someone is getting off on my sock photos. I suppose it's harmless if they don't let you know they're doing it, but the knitting community is pretty divided on this. You just never know what technology is going to bring.

Something Good to do with that Junk Mail

I got an idea from a blog I stumbled upon today (I forgot to bookmark it so if this was your idea and you wrote about it please let me know!). The blog suggested that when you get a piece of junk mail, you open it and return the postage paid envelope to the company. The immature part of me thought this was a great idea - hahaha stick it to the man! But one of the commenters had another point - put the piece of mail with your contact information IN that envelope and mark it "Please remove me from your mailing list." The commenter noted that this had reduced her junk mail down to a few pieces a week. So tonight I diligently did this - and shredded the rest of the innards. I don't know if it will work, but I figure it's worth a try and it's their dime, not mine!

She must be related to Cruella DeVille

Helmsley's dog gets $12 million in will

NEW YORK - Leona Helmsley's dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. But two of Helmsley's grandchildren got nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire's estate.

Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.

She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble in her absence, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer — so long as they visit their father's grave site once each calendar year.

Otherwise, she wrote, neither will get a penny of the $5 million she left for each.

Helmsley left nothing to two of Jay Panzirer's other children — Craig and Meegan Panzirer — for "reasons that are known to them," she wrote.

But no one made out better than Trouble, who once appeared in ads for the Helmsley Hotels, and lived up to her name by biting a housekeeper.

"I direct that when my dog, Trouble, dies, her remains shall be buried next to my remains in the Helmsley mausoleum," Helmsley wrote in her will.

The mausoleum, she ordered, must be "washed or steam-cleaned at least once a year." She left behind $3 million for the upkeep of her final resting place in Westchester County, where she is buried with her husband, Harry Helmsley.

She ordered that cash from sales of the Helmsley's residences and belongings, reported to be worth billions, be sold and that the money be given to the Leona M. and Harry B. Helmsley Charitable Trust.

Helmsley died earlier this month at her Connecticut home. She became known as a symbol of 1980s greed and earned the nickname "the Queen of Mean" after her 1988 indictment and subsequent conviction for tax evasion. One employee had quoted her as snarling, "Only the little people pay taxes."