Flying Nude

I, my friends, like to pride myself as an excellent problem solver. And it just so happens that I have an idea to end all travel advisory/guidelines/TSA nonsense.

The answer my friends, is that we should all fly nude.

Before you pooh-pooh the idea. Think about it a bit. No clothes means no places to stash your knives, coins, belt buckles, keys, wallets and any other items that must be removed, surrendered, forfeited etc. Not wearing shoes means never having to remove them to walk through the metal detector.

Ewwww you say? Nude? Isn't that UNSANITARY? Why no, I tell you, not if we apply Sani-seat technology to this problem. Think about it - a touch of a button and a brand new plastic seat cover just for you. The future, my friends, is in plastics.

And what's more - we shouldn't be allowed carry-ons. Think about it! No carryons means no fighting for overhead compartment space, no getting whacked on the head by someone else's suitcase. No more announcements about exercising caution as contents may have shifted during flight.

AND think of all the money we will save. No clothes or suitcases means no more extensive screenings necessary. Just hold your boarding pass and your I.D. in your hand and get moving. No TSA agents to deal with. Think of the savings that could be passed on to your ultimate air fare.

The future my friends, she is here. The time for flying nude is now.