Administratum: The Heaviest Element Known to Science
Physicists recently discovered the heaviest element known to science. The element, tentatively named Administratum, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have: 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives Administratum an atomic mass of 312.
A force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons holds the 312 particles together.
Since it has no electrons, Administratum is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every action with which it comes in contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratum causes one reaction to take four days to complete, when it would have normally occurred in less than one second.
Administratum has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a re-organization in which assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass of Administratum actually increases after each re-organization.
Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratum occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities, and can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administratum has proven to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratum can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.
***generously forwarded by a classmate of mine***
A force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons holds the 312 particles together.
Since it has no electrons, Administratum is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every action with which it comes in contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratum causes one reaction to take four days to complete, when it would have normally occurred in less than one second.
Administratum has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a re-organization in which assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass of Administratum actually increases after each re-organization.
Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratum occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities, and can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administratum has proven to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratum can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.
***generously forwarded by a classmate of mine***
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posted by littledevilworks at 1:23 PM
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