Twinkies

I honestly believe that Twinkies are the strangest most durable invention ever. If I had to present one gift to the new Pope, I would give him Twinkies because I know, without a doubt, they will last until Christ rises again. They don't make Twinkies any more, I am sure of this. I believe they developed Twinkies in the 60's to deal with the munchies from a free-lovin' stoner crowd. And what better way to detox? So the Twinkie factories manufactured their ambrosia to the gods and stored them all in a bomb shelter deep below the Earth's surface. There, to this day, they ship out the excess supplies of Twinkies that will last long after our mortal lives are over.

For alternate theories and scientific properties, visit this veritable font of knowledge.