The Knife to End All Knives

"Wenger, the manufacturer of the classic Swiss Army Knife, has revealed a 9-inch long, 2-pound "knife" which carries 85 instruments, or: almost every tool that has ever been on a Swiss Army Knife, ever. The list includes seven different knives, a golf shoe spike wrench, a bike chain rivet setter, and a laser pointer with a 300ft range (but where's the freakin' USB flash drive?). Presumably this is so seasoned golfers can tune their bicycle's rivets before heading off on a deer hunt / cycling trip armed with blinding lasers and an entire collection of 3-inch knives. An equivalent "indoor" do-it-all gadget would feature Apple's entire iPod line-up, a SCSI to Parallel adapter and the collective consciousness of the Engadget staff in BBS form, contained in the form factor of a combination Bluetooth headset / wristwatch."

Don't forget to leave that one at home... I'm sure it's not airplane friendly.

P.S. They say this is only version 1.0. Next up the Knife that ate Cleveland.