The Friday Funnies

Brought to you by the late night funny men:

"We all know about the big dust-up between President Bush and the Senate leadership over his wanting to change the Geneva Conventions, right? Well, they reached a compromise. That's not just a victory for Bush, it's a victory for the country because basic human rights is something we all need to compromise on." --Stephen Colbert

"You see, his opponents were a group of rebels within the Republican Party -- John McCain, Lindsey Graham and John Warner -- who stood up and said, 'No' to the president's plan. Meanwhile, the Democrats also stood up and said, 'We're just going to wait over here. You tell us when you're done.'" --Stephen Colbert

"The Senate has voted to approve the building of a 700-mile fence along the 2,000-mile border of Mexico. This is what happens when you let President Bush do the math." --Jay Leno

"It's great to have Bill (Clinton) in the mix again. It puts conservatives back on the offensive. Now they can get back to doing what they do best [on screen: Fear Gay People]. Pointing out that everything wrong with this country is Bill Clinton's fault." --Stephen Colbert

"The president of Afghanistan says over the past year, democracy has suffered a setback in his country. On the bright side, at least now he and President Bush have something in common." --Jay Leno

"The Venezuelan President went to the U.N. and called Bush the devil. You could tell Bush was offended, because his tail stopped wagging. Bush said, 'I would love to answer your ridiculous charge that I'm the devil, but I'm a little too busy this week trying to unite my party behind torturing people.'" --Bill Maher

"The U.N. says that there is more torture going on in Iraq than when Saddam was in power. Bush shot back. He said, 'That is just the opinion of one individual who doesn't know the difference between regular torture and freedom torture.'" --Bill Maher

"Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints. They beat the Atlanta Falcons. It was the Saints first time to the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina, which is pretty impressive considering FEMA still hasn't made it to the Superdome." --Jay Leno

More here.