The Rules of Chocolate

Chocolate
Originally uploaded by littledevilworks.

• If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries - all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
  
• The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the shop in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the car park. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.
  
• A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy? If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
  
• But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you? If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
  
• Money talks. Chocolate sings. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
  
• If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top tights. An entire garment industry would be devastated. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.