I'm not dead yet.

But I might be tomorrow.

When I arrived this morning, I saw a bunch of new tasty snack collections in our 6th floor kitchen. As I was fixing my morning tea, I decided to sample a cinnamon flavored Laguna Alphabet Cookie. I was sadly disappointed. They tasted like cardboard with a slight cinnamon taste. Definitely not the satisfying cookie I had been looking for. I warned all coworkers that they weren't so good and didn't merit tasting.

This afternoon I received an explanation.

The cookies expired in 2004.

I ate a three year old cookie that they don't even manufacture any more.

I didn't know it was necessary to check the expiration date of the snacks they stock here. I don't know what's scarier: that we had a jar of cookies left from 2004, that someone who I KNOW who knew it was expired put it out in the common snack area, that management doesn't seem to care that they feed us moldy old treats, or that I ate one of them.

If I die tonight, I will my brand new couch to my intended. Enjoy its lush goodness love. I'll be in a better worse place...cookie hell.