A little word fun.

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asks readers each year to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year’s {2005} winners:

• Cashtration (kash’ tray shun) n.: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  
• Ignoranus (ig no ray’ nuhs) n.: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
  
• Intaxication (ehn taks’ ih ka’ shun) n.: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  
• Reintarnation (re ehn tar nay’ shun) n.: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  
• Bozone (bo zone) n.: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  
• Foreploy (four’ ploy) n. : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  
• Giraffiti (gi raf’ feet e) n.: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  
• Sarchasm (sar kazzehm) n.: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
  
• Inoculatte (ih nok’-yeh lah’ teh) n.: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  
• Hipatitis (hip’ a ty’ tiss ) n.: Terminal coolness.
  
• Osteopornosis (ohs’ te oh porn’ oh sis) n.: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  
• Karmageddon (kar’ meh ged’ don) n.: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
  
• Decafalon (dee’ kaf eh lon) n.: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  
• Dopeler effect (dope’ e ler e’ fekt) n.: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  
• Arachnoleptic fit (a rack no lehp tik fit) n.: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
  
• Caterpallor (cat er pahl lore) n.: The color you turn after finding half of a worm in the fruit your eating.